Experts suggest taxing TikTokers for economic growth

With metro rail, expressway and other mega projects on the way, local economists have found an efficient way of managing expenses for these projects without having to depend on the World Bank or other big corporations.

In an era of debts and financial disasters, this new plan is supposedly going to make Bangladesh a financially independent nation. The 10-year plan evidently involves taxing the TikTokers.

After the recent havoc caused by Bangladeshis on Padma Bridge, experts estimate the PCS (per capita stupidity) in Dhaka-based projects, like the metro rail, is going to exceed that of the Padma Bridge.

"For a population that celebrates the inauguration of mediocre food chains of the West like it's a zombie apocalypse, the frenzy surrounding metro rail is definitely going to attract TikTokers and social media influencers from all across the country," explains economist Martha Sen. "If we can establish toll booths at every metro rail station where TikTokers can buy tokens for recording their TikToks, we can make millions! Remember, when you can't cure it, try to capitalise on it. That's how Rectangle, LifeAid and other big hospitals in our country made it this big."

After people were caught removing screws, nuts and other parts from Padma Bridge to keep as souvenirs, the internet was riled up by the absurdity of Bangladeshis. However, where others see mere stupidity, Martha Sen and her team of economists have discovered opportunity.

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"Rather than being angry at peoples' dumb choices, it's time we started cashing in on it. Don't forget – that's how BBA became a real thing. If people want to pry open a few screws and risk the structural collapse of a bridge, don't confiscate them. Rather, put an ad on MeKroy and sell the screws to the highest bidder. Our land was ruled by the British for 200 years. So, 'collecting' is our national passion. If we can just start selling infrastructural parts, our estimates suggest we can make another Padma Bridge within five years just by selling souvenirs off of the first one," she suggests.

Martha Sen also believes the dedication shown by TikTokers on Padma Bridge is unparalleled.

"Sure, TikTokers on Padma Bridge bring down the average IQ of the vicinity by 10 points. But what you cannot deny is their sheer dedication. Even when they were being chased by police, they didn't put down their cameras. The amount of commitment they show for their 8 internet followers – we need that for building this nation. I believe we should create a few pseudo-mega projects in the capital which would work as TikTok zones for them. Heavy taxation shouldn't matter as long as the lust for internet validation persists. We can use the tax money from these pseudo projects and invest it in more fruitful projects like paid vacations, my bad, foreign training programs for our government employees."

The authority has responded positively to Martha Sen's economic proposal.

They say, "We're calling it TikTok tax, or TikTax. But before that, we need to send our employees abroad for a special TikTok training program. The initial budget is of course a bazillion dollars."

Remind Ifti to be quieter at hasiburrashidifti@gmail.com