Gaslighting

Illustration: KAZI AKIB BIN ASAD

What I'm about to discuss isn't anything particularly foreign, just widely unacknowledged or downplayed. I suggest this time you pay attention.

The term "gaslight" was first popularised by dramatist Patrick Hamilton whose 1938 play Gas Light gave meaning to the word in the psychiatric discipline.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as such: To manipulate (a person) by psychological means into questioning his or her own sanity.

Simply put, gaslighting is a deceptive act which involves lying in order to distort a person's sense of reality and confidence. The victim ends up torn between multiple perspectives on a matter and begins to question their own state of mind. The outcome isn't just mere confusion, it's a complete loss of faith in oneself that can eventually assume terrifying proportions stemming from self-doubt.

People often misunderstand how gaslighting works, partly due to the reasons given above, and partly because it's easier to just blame a scapegoat – the person on the receiving end of this form of emotional abuse. It's quite common for cases of gaslighting to go undetected, with the victim's psyche enduring varying degrees of trauma that can either dissipate in a short amount of time or continue to plague the mind indefinitely. There's no such thing as "coming out unscathed" from a gaslighting incident.

Victims often fail to recover from the trauma they experience at the hands of their bullies. This is due to victims being subjected to further scrutiny and contempt exhibited by people who attribute the matter of "gaslighting" as fantasies. Thus, victims' lives become marred with damages suffered within the walls of their own houses, classrooms, workspaces, and every other place infested by these bullies. The gaslighting goes undetected.

This ignorance, when sustained through years within a group of people, be it family or community, can gradually become ingrained into their faith, paving the way for an abusive cycle. The abuse might not always be a product of malicious intent, but rather, part of someone's inheritance. Soon enough, the abuse becomes the norm since nobody else knows any better.

The following are possible signs of gaslighting to watch out for:

1. Frequent usage of words and phrases such as, "you're overreacting", "you don't know what you're talking about", "you're being too uptight", "you're not in the right state of mind"

2. Instigating unnecessary comparison by repeatedly saying how "someone else has it worse" or how the situation "could've been worse"

3. Trying to deviate from the issue by shifting the blame

4. Your emotional state being belittled

5. Withholding of information related to the matter at hand.

To the victims of gaslighting, your sanity has not failed you.

To the acquaintances, friends, and family of the victims, it's important to treat an incident of gaslighting with sensitivity considering the emotional stress it can exert on the victims. All it takes is the willingness to properly acknowledge and understand it. Offer emotional support, not unwarranted criticism.     

Rasha Jameel is your neighborhood feminist-apu-who-writes-big-essays. Remind her to also finish writing her bioinformatics research paper at [email protected]