Not all men, but yes, all women

Whenever the struggles of women are being talked about, rebutting with the "not all men" argument can be futile for a lot of reasons. The most important being a disruption in the discourse. If someone has to resort to that argument, it usually indicates they are unaware of the myriad of struggles women have to face on a daily basis or have faced at least once in their lives.

While changes are being made in the fight for gender equality, misogyny is still rampant, either expressed in a straightforward manner or in a passive way. A girl blessed with progressive parental figures might not have to face any sort of discrimination at home, but the chances are she is not this respected in most other environments, be it work, educational institutions, or even social spaces.

Misogynistic ideologies usually give rise to harassment. Unfortunately, no woman in the world is a stranger to unwanted or unwelcome behaviour in different shapes and forms. It can come from anyone, be it a stranger, a partner, a friend, a relative, or even another woman who has deeply ingrained internalised misogyny. The harassment can be physical or verbal, sometimes subtle, oftentimes not. Starting from inappropriate personal questions, belittling comments to being stared at, or cat-called or inappropriately touched, no woman in the world is stranger to such harassment. These are situations they usually have to deal with their whole lives.

Women also have to face objectification at large, having to hear demeaning analogies where they're compared to objects to be owned and "protected." One such example is the medieval lollipop analogy, where women are encouraged to be "modest" in order to protect their "purity" and innocence. These tone-deaf analogies often promote archaic ideals of purity while glaringly exhibiting victim-blaming ideals.

The beauty standards that we have set for women is another example of this. Putting aside what a woman can do, should do or is doing, her appearance and the way she is handling herself remains a big question for most people. In the eyes of society, women remain as eye candies or muse of sorts irrespective of any other quality to them.

In order to cope with such an unkind world, women have to live with fear and practise constant hypervigilance. Even if they are not in any noticeable danger, they still have to remain alert in every situation, just in case they can have a fighting chance if the time comes. Mothers constantly warn their young daughters about tragic incidents. Consequently, every woman grows up with a deeply ingrained fear about the world they live in.

Referring back to the "not all men" argument, it may come as a surprise that people are aware not every man is a perpetrator. A perpetrator does not even necessarily have to be a man even. However, that is usually not the point of such discussions. So, the "not all men but all women" idea is there to serve as a reminder of all the problems that come as a package with being a woman. This might help bring back focus onto the core issues that the gender discrimination discourse is based on.

Rudaiba is too mad at patriarchy. Send help to calm her down a bit at rudaiba.rhymee@gmail.com