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Red Flags on a First Date

Some dates are like a glass of cool lemonade on a warm summer's day. Others are like bleach that you drink through your eyes. At the end of some, you wish they went on forever, while for others you thank your lucky stars that you came out in one piece. While we are usually too polite to leave dates midway, maybe there are a few offences that deserve a dramatic “I don't think this is happening” exit.

 

BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR CLUB

The only place where you should be mentioning your university club achievements is your CV, and that too when you have nothing else to show. When someone begins bragging about their club position, you better scamper fast, because there's a hundred percent chance that this person has no stories to share that don't begin and end with club activities, and this is coming from someone who's in a club. Incidentally, this one time at our club, we got locked inside the clubroom and...

 

PET NAMES ON A FIRST DATE

Most relationships inevitably descend into a string of incoherent sounds after a certain period of time. If you've been in one long enough, you are no stranger to the thousand and one nicknames that couples use for one another. However, when someone decides to call you snuggle-bunny or something equally preposterous on a first date, you know there's not going to be a second one. Unlike you, they can't even hide their inner lovesick infant self until three months into the relationship. YOU would probably have to be the adult in that relationship. Sure. That's happening.

 

TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE

Some people look for a committed relationship from the get-go whereas others might like to see how things turn out as they progress. However, when someone tries to bring up tying the knot on the first date, things will probably only go downhill from that point onwards. Sure enough, you've barely managed to get through your bowl of soup when you are faced with the perplexing prospect of answering whether purple and champagne are better wedding colours than red and gold. I'd say maybe don't wait till dessert, or you might as well be ordering gender reveal doughnuts.

 

FINANCIAL QUESTIONS

Again, sure, some think about the future of a relationship to an unhealthy degree. What's a worse offense is asking whether you have any siblings, in an attempt to calculate what share of your father's wealth will be inherited by you. Questions about how much money you make at your part-time job or advice on what you could be doing that might lead you to a higher paying job later, also fall under this umbrella of none-of-your-business.

 

COMPARING YOU TO THE EX

People are still conflicted when it comes to bringing up your ex on the first date. However, everyone agrees that comparing someone to an ex can never lead to any good. For example, regardless of whether they say “My ex never let me pay the bills!” or “My ex always shared the bills”, neither is good for you. And if they say, “You like Thai soup? My ex liked Thai soup! You even have the same initials. Just a little plastic surgery and you'll be perfect.” ... well, what are you waiting for? Get out of there while you can!

 

Rabita Saleh is a perfectionist/workaholic. Email feedback to this generally boring person at rabitasaleh13@gmail.com

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Red Flags on a First Date

Some dates are like a glass of cool lemonade on a warm summer's day. Others are like bleach that you drink through your eyes. At the end of some, you wish they went on forever, while for others you thank your lucky stars that you came out in one piece. While we are usually too polite to leave dates midway, maybe there are a few offences that deserve a dramatic “I don't think this is happening” exit.

 

BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR CLUB

The only place where you should be mentioning your university club achievements is your CV, and that too when you have nothing else to show. When someone begins bragging about their club position, you better scamper fast, because there's a hundred percent chance that this person has no stories to share that don't begin and end with club activities, and this is coming from someone who's in a club. Incidentally, this one time at our club, we got locked inside the clubroom and...

 

PET NAMES ON A FIRST DATE

Most relationships inevitably descend into a string of incoherent sounds after a certain period of time. If you've been in one long enough, you are no stranger to the thousand and one nicknames that couples use for one another. However, when someone decides to call you snuggle-bunny or something equally preposterous on a first date, you know there's not going to be a second one. Unlike you, they can't even hide their inner lovesick infant self until three months into the relationship. YOU would probably have to be the adult in that relationship. Sure. That's happening.

 

TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE

Some people look for a committed relationship from the get-go whereas others might like to see how things turn out as they progress. However, when someone tries to bring up tying the knot on the first date, things will probably only go downhill from that point onwards. Sure enough, you've barely managed to get through your bowl of soup when you are faced with the perplexing prospect of answering whether purple and champagne are better wedding colours than red and gold. I'd say maybe don't wait till dessert, or you might as well be ordering gender reveal doughnuts.

 

FINANCIAL QUESTIONS

Again, sure, some think about the future of a relationship to an unhealthy degree. What's a worse offense is asking whether you have any siblings, in an attempt to calculate what share of your father's wealth will be inherited by you. Questions about how much money you make at your part-time job or advice on what you could be doing that might lead you to a higher paying job later, also fall under this umbrella of none-of-your-business.

 

COMPARING YOU TO THE EX

People are still conflicted when it comes to bringing up your ex on the first date. However, everyone agrees that comparing someone to an ex can never lead to any good. For example, regardless of whether they say “My ex never let me pay the bills!” or “My ex always shared the bills”, neither is good for you. And if they say, “You like Thai soup? My ex liked Thai soup! You even have the same initials. Just a little plastic surgery and you'll be perfect.” ... well, what are you waiting for? Get out of there while you can!

 

Rabita Saleh is a perfectionist/workaholic. Email feedback to this generally boring person at rabitasaleh13@gmail.com

Comments