Host: Hello, and welcome to another edition of TAILORS OF DOOM!

[Audience claps and screams out name of the show in unison.]

Host: Friends, our tailors do amazing work, making all our clothing dreams come true and for that we are truly grateful. However, sometimes they mess up so bad they fabricate themselves a spot on our game show.

Today, we have two groups from rivalling tailoring shops in Habib Super Market. On the left, we’ve got four gentlemen from Rupa Ladies Tailoring. And on the right, the four tailors of Priya Ladies Fashion.

Let’s begin Round 1! Our topic for Round 1 is “Anxiety”.

[Audience goes “Ooohhhh”]

Host: What is the most anxiety-inducing stunt you’ve pulled on a client?

Contestant 1 [hits buzzer]: One time a client wanted an outfit made for her brother’s wedding. She called the day before the wedding. Did I have it ready? No, I didn’t. She called on the morning of the wedding. Did I have it ready? Of course not. Hours before the wedding the client leaves for the parlour to get ready and who does she see waiting for her at the entrance? My right hand Mojnu with her stitched dress. Bam! Delivered right on time.

Host: I wouldn’t exactly call that “on time.” You get 5 points for that!

Contestant 2 [hits buzzer]: I went missing on the day of Eid with six of my client’s dresses. They called and texted but I switched off my phone and left Dhaka. What was I supposed to do? I didn’t have them made. Plus, I was already in Sirajganj — so Eid Mubarak, nitwits!

Host: Contestant 2, you are literally the worst. You get 10 points!

Let’s move on. Our topic for Round 2 is “Betrayal”.

[Audience gasps]

Host: How badly did you ever betray a client?

Contestant 4: A client ordered a new dress she was really excited about so I accidentally made it to her sister’s measurements!

Host: Of course, you did.  5 points!

Contestant 3: A client ordered a three-piece kameez but I had to stitch it on the last moment. So I made pants out of the kameez fabric, a kameez out of the orna fabric, and an orna with the pants’ fabric!

Host: If that isn’t a mild form of dyslexia I don’t know what is. 10 points! Snip-snip, folks. When we come back after the break, it’s Round 3 – “Revenge”.

[Audience cheers]

Mrittika Anan Rahman is a daydreamer trying hard not to run into things while walking. Find her at mrittika.anan@gmail.com