The Devil unable to rent an apartment in Dhaka amidst heatwave
Even though Dhaka residents are not quite happy with the high temperatures, for the occupants of the netherworld, the city has become a rather attractive vacation spot. Dhaka has been seeing an onslaught of otherworldly tourists since the middle of last April, the most prominent figure among the tourists being the Devil himself.
In an interview with our underworld correspondent, the Devil has informed of his intention to extend his stay. "Truth be told, we're running out of space down there in hell, so some of us needed to relocate to make room for the long lines of fresh arrivals. The weather in Dhaka is beautiful, my minions and I feel quite at home. Besides, it's only the seventh most densely populated city, so we figured we'll lend you a hand in climbing up the rankings," he said.
He also expressed a need for semi-permanent lodging as his departure may be prolonged indefinitely. He spoke of his experience in his search for an apartment to be let.
"A lot of people suggested searching around Mohammadpur for the wonderful neighbourhoods, but in reality, I feel like it didn't quite live up to the hype. Granted, I lost my bus fare to a pickpocket, but I expected someone to at least pull a knife on me."
When inquired about whether being the evil incarnate hinders landlords from being willing to rent their apartments to him, the Devil replied in the negative. He explained that as long as he was willing to pay the abrupt and irrational increases in rent, the nature of his character became trivial.
His search for an apartment brought him to Dhanmondi, where he found that he was entirely unwelcome in the neighbourhood as he did not address the place by its proper and respectful name – DMD. He proceeded to tell us about his search in Moghbazar, where he did find a decent apartment, but the landlord was quite against installing an air conditioner.
"I know I'm supposed to be from hell and all, but I am ageing. I can't live in that area without a decent air cooler, I'm not the one who's supposed to be tortured."
When asked whether he had considered getting a place in Uttara, he seemed rather surprised by the insinuation that it's actually a part of Dhaka. He recounted his experience at Bijoy Sarani and Tejgaon flyover with some fondness, but absolutely refused to elaborate on his ventures at Puran Dhaka.
"There are a few more areas I have left to search in, and I'm still hopeful I'll find something," Satan said.
Upon being suggested to consider Gulshan, he laughed and said, "Come on, even emptying out hell's treasury can't pay for a place there."
Unfortunately, the interview had to be cut short as Satan's casual remark about printing more money was overheard by a passing finance bro. Whether Satan would still be willing to live amidst humans after that exchange remains unknown.
Zabin makes some very bad financial decisions. Give her some tips on money management at zabintn@gmail.com