The misinterpretation of kindness

Kindness, politeness and good manners are capable of changing any person's day for the better. However, if subject to misinterpretation, they are equally capable of making a day turn for the worse.

How exactly does this happen? The aforementioned attributes are subjective terms, capable of varying even in people of the same culture. They relate to your morals and how you were brought up, therefore their manifestations as actions can easily be misinterpreted by others with different mindsets. There are a variety of different mindsets distributed among human beings, and therefore, a large probability of the misinterpretation of actions occurring.

Suppose you were incredibly hungry but were in a meeting with someone. You asked if they wanted to grab lunch with you because it would be rude to end a meeting abruptly, and offered to pay for them when you realised the person forgot his/her wallet. The concerned individual may mistake your good manners for attraction if they are not fully aware of your nature. Even the littlest things such as holding open a door for someone, stopping to help somebody who fell, and lending stationary to the person sitting next to you in an exam can be mistaken for your interest in the individual you are assisting due to differences in manners and a lack of understanding.

Things can get more complicated; your politeness may be confused with negative personality traits if you are seen helping an individual you are on bad terms with. Hurtful terms such as "two-faced" may come to the minds of people who themselves believe politeness does not apply to anyone they are not fond of. If they continue to ponder over why you're being polite, the negativity of assumptions can quickly escalate. You may even find yourself being accused of trying to use the person you are not fond of for your own personal gain.

Also, oddly enough, kindness can be connected to being a pushover. This presumption is exceptionally queer on account of how completely unrelated the two personality traits are. The connection has little to do with a variation in morals and instead serves as an excuse to exploit the good nature of a kind-hearted human being, potentially having a detrimental effect on the self-confidence of anyone who considers themselves to be kind. Kindness towards others should never be correlated to being unkind to yourself and belittling your own opinions.

If a good nature without a hidden agenda is discouraged and misunderstood it could lead to its eradication as an adaptive measure, much like any other process of natural selection. Let's just keep things simple by sticking to the true meaning of things instead of trying to find synonyms for it.

Bushra Zaman likes books, art, and only being contacted by email. Contact her at bushrazaman31@yahoo.com