1

He doesn't smile as much as he used to. Even if he does, it doesn't reach his eyes as much as it did before. I asked, I did ask, I tried. But he would just shrug it all off. I overheard a fight with his parents the other day when I was talking to him over the phone. I didn't know how to address that and ask him if he was okay, so I just took him out for burgers the next day with all our friends. He'd never tell me about it anyways. He doesn't even tell me the little stuff, let alone something as heavy as this. He doesn't even tell me things after I rant all about my bad day to him. I still just ask how he is. He says he's fine. He's always fine.

2

He's… evolved? He's been smiling a bit more lately, more of them reach his eyes too. But I say he has evolved because of this new person I see online. He started blogging about himself. Just him. What he feels, what he wants to say. And boy does he know how to talk about these things. His new blog has become a beacon for others as well. It is a safe space where they can have conversations. He always was a great writer. I wonder what pushed him to be brave enough to put himself out there like this. So I ask him how he is. He says he's fine. He's always fine.        

3

He's been smiling less again lately, but that's because he's been busy laughing so much. He really got some traction as he continued writing his blog on social media. Our very own class celebrity. He writes about other things too nowadays. He writes a lot. But I know he feels more. He's smiling less, laughing more, but this laughter doesn't reach his eyes at all. I thought he was doing better. I shared my sentiments with a mutual friend. They said well, now he's just doing it all for the attention. Just mopey blogs under an ingenuine facade. He'll get over it. I don't believe that. I go over to him and ask him how he is. He says he's fine. He's always fine.

4

I don't know what went wrong. They say he's not fine. But he's always fine… right?

5

He cried. He confessed. When people who did not genuinely care about him became too invested in his change in behaviour, he started a blog just to spite them. And it turned out to be something wonderful. But not for him. For him it was torture, being thanked and looked up to, when he was just lying through his teeth and trying to convince himself he was okay, really. And then being called an attention-seeker by people he thought would understand, when he was actually hiding instead. So I told him. I told him I would rather he hog my attention and tell me more about a string of therapists that didn't work out than be in a dark place alone. Attention. If they seek it, you'd do well to stretch a hand out towards them. It is not the problem, it is merely a symptom. And you know what? People rarely actually seek attention. So if they do, and you're the one they felt safe enough to come to, count your blessings. If nothing else, just humour them. Anything is better than the alternative.

And oh yeah, he'll be fine.

Proteeti Ahmed is trying. Share life stories that also follow Murphy's Law with her at proteeti.14@gmail.com