You Have 99 Problems, but a Breakup Isn’t One

It finally happened. You, once a hopeless romantic and now simply hopeless, are now having to come to terms with your relationship ending. The butterflies in your stomach have died and the happy tune in your heart has been replaced by an orchestra consisting of onlytiny violins playing.

Allow me to be annoying and remind you that there's still hope left. It may feel overwhelming right now, but there are ways you can heal that broken heart.

Give into the cliché

Be as whiny, dramatic, and pessimistic you want to be. Cry a river, throw out the gifts, write angsty poems that your sleepless brain will definitely remind you of at exactly 3 in the morning a year from now. Remember, you don't have to seem strong for anyone. Let yourself feel the feels.

Bring out the big guns: Taylor Swift songs

It's time. As much as we like to make fun of Taylor Swift's songs, we cannot deny that the woman just gets it. Go ahead and play "Blank Space" on repeat.

Phone a friend (or ten)

Surrounding yourself with people that love and care about you is the best remedy for loneliness. Sometimes all you need is to be reminded of how much more there is to you and your life, how your presence not only matters, but is appreciated. Knowing that there are people who are ready and willing to shower you with unconditional love and affection will help you realise that love not only exists in other forms, but that platonic love is just as beautiful.

Use your time

Okay, this is exciting. Relationships are extremely time consuming, and sometimes we can lose ourselves while tending to someone else's needs. You'll quickly realise how much more time you have to yourself now, and even though it can feel lonely, it is an opportunity. Be as selfish with your time as you want. Have your solo dance parties, binge watch all your favourite shows, learn a new skill, get back to old hobbies or just pick up a new one – the possibilities are endless!

Process, and face the reality

Whether it was a good relationship, or a toxic one, it ended for a reason. Focus on that reason. Allow yourself to reflect back on the previous mistakes, and use it as a learning opportunity. A bond breaking with someone you care about is very hurtful, but it just means that you both have opened up a door to a better future. One where you find something or someone who is truly suitable for you.

We often underestimate our own resilience and potential for growth. Remember that you are still whole and have a lot to offer. This is not the end, it's only the beginning for a newer version of you – one who is now more mature, has more experience, and has the perspective to choose better next time.

P.S. You could also just ignore all these steps and adopt a cat instead.       

Tasnim is currently struggling to live, laugh, love. Send her tips at tasnim.upoma96@gmail.com