DON'T DO IT
The first thing you should be asking yourself is: is it worth it? An evening out with your pals at the restaurant that just opened may seem fun, but one does not truly know a person until they are in a group chat planning a get-together. Rather than peering into the abyss and destroying your relationship, isn't it better to just sit at home and send each other dank memes? If you disagree and are adamant about going to that Star Wars themed kebab place with your boys/gals, then read on. But know that we warned you.

32'S A CROWD
With the advent of the blessing that is the Internet, making plans have never been so convenient (or so you think). Creating a group chat in Facebook Messenger or WhatsApp provides an efficient way for you and your friends to discuss when and where to go. But moderating a discussion with too many stubborn, opinionated teenagers can be a taxing job. It would be a smart idea to keep the group at the optimum size. Invite too many and you'd be hard-pressed to have a productive discussion and it may also cause them to break off into smaller cliques of their own. Invite too few, though, and it just wouldn't be as fun. It is important to find that sweet spot where everything is manageable. If you absolutely want to organise a large party, it would be prudent to just include the responsible ones in the group chat and after you are done fleshing out the details of your shindig; they can then invite more people to join the army.

DON'T FEED THE MONKEYS
With teenagers equipped with the attention span of a chipmunk, group chats have a tendency to drift off-topic very quickly. So to prevent the conversation from descending into absolute pandemonium, one mustn't give them any leeway. You need to maintain a firm grip on the topic at hand. Ruthlessly shut down any attempts at digression and frown heavily upon any bad puns. Remember, you are the overlord, proprietor of brunch.

LEARN TO LET GO
Before you start the discussion, formulate a rough plan on your own first. This confines the arguments to fewer possibilities. But there will still be quite a few frustrating spats, with one date being agreeable to some and problematic for others. They'll point out flaws with the plan without offering any solutions. So prepare yourself for all the usual excuses. “That place doesn't have good lighting”, “Apparently their drinks are watered down”, “I heard the chef is a white supremacist”. Learn to decipher the excuses and differentiate between the ones that mean “I can be convinced with a little diplomacy” and the ones that mean “I don't really want to go but can't say it to your face either, also check out this Kanye West meme”. Acknowledge that a few of them just don't want to go. Instead of letting them derail the entire plan, it would be better to cut them loose and focus on the ones who are willing.

If you've been following our instructions up to this point, you've probably realised that you have fewer friends than when you began. But that's okay, Hitler didn't go to any parties and look how well he turned out.

Adit Hasan likes to dabble, making him jack of all trades, master of none. The only constants in his life are penguins and mangoes. Send mixtape to facebook.com/adit.hasan.3