Daily Routine of the Typical Fangirl
"Fangirls are so crazy, dear God I just don't understand them."
If you are a normally functioning member of today's society (i.e. with an actual social life and real acquaintances to have face-to-face conversations with), that line has probably crossed your mind some time or the other. Those of us who are fandom-obsessed seem like a foreign species to you, don't we? The truth is, fangirls are terribly misunderstood by the world. We are all sane, rational human beings, just like the rest of you. It's quite difficult for us to understand why people would think otherwise. So, here's a description of an average day in the life of The Typical Fangirl to clear up all your misconceptions.
The Start of the Day:
The Fangirl starts her day with a wail of despair, dreading all the tweets and posts that came in while she was sleeping. She must catch up with all the news, so she grabs her phone and immediately checks social media.
After twenty minutes of scrolling down various newsfeeds, she decides to get some breakfast. The Fangirl then chokes on her food, because Jensen Ackles just posted a new selfie where his hair is on point. Never mind the fact that she has a class in ten minutes. She needs to retweet this.
In School/College/Uni:
The Fangirl gets through her classes looking like a hobo (It's not like Harry Styles goes to her school, so why look pretty?) and ignoring anyone who attempts to converse with her. After all, she is engrossed in her non-verbal dialogue with her imaginary best friend, Hermione Granger. Sometimes, though, she can be heard to yell things out like "Patience, young Padawan!" when a fellow student asks a question regarding the next assignment. She looks highly self-satisfied during these occasions.
After School:
Food is of high priority to The Fangirl, so she promptly sits down for lunch while simultaneously going through her phone. She chokes on her food (again) because the new Harry Potter book is coming out in July. She momentarily loses motor neuron function, and thus "ASDFGKHHLK ER MA GAWD I'M CRYIN HOLY MCFLUFF" turns out to be her intelligent and insightful feedback to this news.
Getting Chores Done:
This time of the day flies by for The Fangirl. Getting yelled at for turning old newspapers into makeshift microphones, pretending to be the latest music sensation, and re-enacting random movie scenes tend to stimulate her to get her work done fairly quickly.
Time for Homework:
The Fangirl is well aware of the need for proper education. However, the brain needs fuel to run. So, first, she makes herself some snacks, and then decides to take a peek at Twitter. She soon chokes on her food, because Tyler Joseph from Twenty One Pilots just tweeted "Hi." He's so hilarious; The Fangirl just freakin' can't.
An hour passes while The Fangirl likes, tweets, and reblogs various materials. She cries 22 times, feels emo thrice, and dies about 5 times. She is just about to start studying, when some dunderhead starts talking about how Sherlock is boring. It is essential that she start a furious argument with said dunderhead and put him in his place.
After this slight disagreement, The Fangirl is seething, so she decides to spread some positivity through a three paragraph long Tumblr post about how Dan Howell's YouTube videos are the best thing that ever happened to this world. She finally starts her homework, and ten minutes later it's time for dinner.
At Dinner:
The Fangirl chokes on her food (to the complete surprise of her parents) because 5 Seconds of Summer just posted a picture of themselves in Deadpool onesies. She loves those dorks so much her heart hurts.
After Dinner:
Hysteria now starts to grip The Fangirl as she has two essays to write and five chapters to read for her classes the next day. She studies for three solid hours (with only 25 Tumblr breaks) and feels incredibly accomplished.
The Dead of the Night:
It is time for a midnight snack before bed. While eating, The Fangirl vows to stay away from social media the next day and focus on her work, for she must be successful in life. She then chokes on her food, because, who is she kidding? She's going to spend the next two hours reading fanfiction about Jon Snow, anyway.
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