Ways to Be Classy Like James Bond

The wedding season is here, and you know you will need to dress classy when your Mom asks you to "get ready" for a random wedding chaperoned by an auntie you have never heard about. If you're not pretentious enough, you will end up feeling like a fish out of water. You'll also need sharper acuity to spy which opposite gender is prettier without atta and moyda caked on their faces, even though you know they all look much better when bare-faced. 

Hence, you will secretly need to be James Bond.


Remember all the clothes that your Mom bought for you when you were five? They all sagged. She probably would have told you that you will grow into it and you did, but now you are not five. Get a tuxedo that is perfectly tailored for you, not for a Neanderthal who's five inches taller than you. It kind of looks like as if you are wearing someone else's suit. Alternatively, put on a shirt and a waistcoat. No burden of heavy blazers on your shoulder.


Let me already warn your disappointed self that there is going to be no Jamie Dornan reference here. Seriously, get your mind out of the gutter. I haven't seen James Bond wearing anything colourful so far. Most of the time, he wears black or shades of gray that they make him look classic enough. If you want to add a little bit of colour, dark blue will do.


You don't need a watch that explodes. Just accessorise. 


Last time a couple of friends and I went to a programme, a guy in a suit kept eyeing us as if we had just landed on Earth from the another galaxy. Even a spy doesn't gawk at people like that. That's just plain creepy.


The first thing people subconsciously notice about you is your shoes, so make sure you have it polished and flashy. Oxfords are Bond-esque.


It's hard to look comfortable in clothing you are not accustomed to wearing every day, yet you have to act like it is one of your normal Mondays. You have to act like this is what you wear while playing Grand Theft Auto V at your home, and not the Kermit the Frog printed pyjamas. After all, James Bond even chases his enemies in those tightly hugging tuxedos that look downright suffocating – to his 

biceps. Wink.


James Bond can even camouflage himself by disguising as an iceberg – he's that cool. Hide yourself in the crowd so your Mom can't find you and introduce you to the auntie's son, i.e. the groom who got into BUET but you didn't. The side-eye your Mom gives you will ruin the "trying to be classy" vibes.

Zarin Rayhana is a self-aggrandizing ambivert who ponders over philosophical epiphanies during rainy evenings and waits for her crush to jump straight out of her favourite novel. Treat her with novel suggestions at ericaavianazarin@gmail.com



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