Bittersweet Romance

Rafi Hossain: Welcome to Uncensored with Rafi Hossain. Today we have the newly married couple, Sabnam Faria and Harunur Rashid Opu. We are very excited for them, and I am sure fans of Sabnam must be eager to know about Opu and their married life. So, tell me Sabnam, what changes did marriage bring into your life?

Sabnam Faria: The only thing that has changed is my house. At my parents' house, I was always the youngest. So, everyone would be busy helping me get ready, before I left every morning. But now, at my in-laws', everyone wakes up a little late. So, I have to prepare everything the night before. That is the only change I have faced after getting married.

Rafi: You didn't face any trouble adjusting to a new place?

Sabnam: Not at all. My mother-in-law makes sure that I am very comfortable.

Rafi: Opu, what changes happened in your life after getting married?

Harunur Rashid Opu: Right now, it is too soon to tell if any changes took place. We are still in the 'honeymoon phase'.

Rafi: So, you both were in a relationship with each other before you got married?

Sabnam: Not exactly, we were very good friends. But both our families fixed the marriage.

Rafi: When did you both decide to be more than just friends?

Opu: Probably six months after we became good friends. The thing is, I have a very large friend circle. But outside of that, I was not friends with anyone else, she was the only one. And she was very busy with her work, so she couldn't really find time to befriend anyone. Somehow, we connected through Facebook and became really good friends. We used to talk a lot, and her replies were very interesting.

Rafi: Why were they interesting?

Sabnam: When I met Opu, I was at a very low point in my life. I had crippling depression after a long-term relationship ended badly. That depression took me to a very dark place. So, a colleague of mine suggested that I should try to talk to other men, because that might help me get out of it.  The problem was that I was already done with my graduation, so all my friends were abroad. And I was doing a lot of projects, so I couldn't just go somewhere and start talking to somebody, as most people view actors in a different light. I was also very scared to talk to anyone on Facebook as I was paranoid that the person I was talking to would screenshot it and spread it around. One day, I noticed that Opu had sent me a friend request. Since we had a lot of mutual friends, I decided to accept it. Soon enough, he messaged me, and I explained how he shouldn't pay heed to any strange thing I say because I recently had a bad breakup. He consoled me, saying that he was still not over a breakup that he had ten years ago (laughs). We talked a lot after that.

Opu: Since we used to talk a lot, we decided to meet. We realised that if we went to lunch or dinner, it would seem like we were more than friends, so we decided to go have breakfast.

Sabnam: We then went to Star Kabab to have breakfast. We hung out, and had a lot of fun. I really like it when men dress-up; the first things I see in a man are his shoes and belt. Ironically, when we first met, Opu showed up wearing trousers and a shawl because they made him feel comfortable. We later found a common love for steak and used to go to different restaurants every week just to have it.

Opu: After becoming very good friends, we would talk all the time. She would tell me about her family issues. At this point, I had developed some feelings for her, so I told her that if she can't find a man before the 25th of December of that year, I would flirt with her because I had already played the role of her boyfriend, minus the romance.

Rafi: How did you react to that suggestion?

Sabnam: I took it as a joke, really. So, it was Christmas day, and coincidentally, we both went to the same place. I was with my cousins, and he was with two of his female friends. He was being very formal with me, and I thought that he was behaving like that because of those friends.

Opu: I was actually being formal because I thought that she was with her elder sister. Only later, did she tell me that it was a cousin of hers. But since she thought that it was because of the girls that were with me, she became a little angry. After leaving that place, she posted a status on Facebook oh how she had friends who would completely forget her, immediately after seeing a pretty girl. I knew she wrote that about me, so I went to her house, and gave her a call.

Sabnam: When he called me, he asked me where I was, and I told him that I was home. He asked me to come down and said that he was taking me to a coffee shop in Khilgaon. That day, I realised that he was actually giving an effort. The way he proposed to me was quite unique as well.  A strike was taking place, and since I needed to go to the salon, he told me that he would drop me off while going to his office. I asked him how he was going to take his car during the strike, and he told me that he was going to drop me off with a CNG. When he came to pick me up, I saw that he had his iPad with him. It didn't strike me as anything out of the ordinary as he was going to his office, until he showed me a Powerpoint presentation about him and his qualifications, and the last slide in the presentation was asking if I would date him. I was bewildered, because I could never imagine anyone proposing in the back of a CNG.

Rafi: Opu and Sabnam, I really love how you both are being honest about everything. I think that many people are getting in and out of relationships a lot. What do you both think of that?

Opu: The thing is, during my mother's time, women had to make a lot of sacrifices. As many women were not properly educated, they had to rely on their husbands financially. The women had to stay at home and do all the household chores. Now, since the women are also financially supporting the family, it is normal for the husbands to help around the house. In our case, we have everything divided; she will do some chores around the house, and I will do others.

Sabnam: Since a woman is helping with the financial part, it is normal for the husband to help around the house. In the past, the women were not very educated, and they were scared that if they broke off a marriage, their kids' futures would be in jeopardy. Now that they are more educated and financially stable, they can break off a relationship if they are not satisfied.

Rafi: Did you both have an argument serious enough to make you both stop speaking to each other?

Sabnam: That happened once. Some time after we started going out, we faced some very serious issues, which caused us to break up. We had no contact with each other for eight months. Seven months after the breakup, my father passed away. A few days before his death, he called Opu to our house. I was abroad at the time.

Rafi: Did your parents know about the relationship?

Sabnam: Yes, they both knew. My parents were like friends to me. I shared everything with them. So, my father knew about our relationship. I heard how he called Opu to our house to talk to him before his death. Shortly afterwards, my father-in-law fell sick, and I met him in the hospital for the first time. He passed away soon after that.

Rafi: Opu, did your father know about your relationship?

Opu: He knew about our relationship. My father and Sabnam never met before that, but spoke on the phone regularly. I used to go to bed really late, and wake up late as well. So, she would call me in the morning to wake me up. She used to call the landline, so my father would pick the phone up and would talk to her for five to ten minutes before waking me up.

Rafi: What did Sabnam's father tell you?

Opu: He told me that we should solve our problems, and even if we couldn't, we should find closure. He somehow found out that I was hurting badly from our breakup, and also saw that his daughter was hurting as well.

Sabnam: When we broke up, he was even more depressed than I was. We both went to a bad place during those eight months.

Rafi: What caused you both to get temporarily separated?

Sabnam: There were a lot of issues. He was going through a transition period during that time. His father had just passed away and he changed his job. He had a lot of responsibilities that I couldn't adjust to.

Opu: The strange thing is, during those eight months, every time she came to Banani, she would run into me. My office was there, so I went there everyday. If she went there by chance, I would run into her.

Sabnam: It would happen that I would go to a restaurant he had gone to pick food up from, or I had gone to a salon there, and when I got to the ground floor, he was in the departmental store. The way we got back together was also very strange. Some time after my father passed away, I was going to go out of the country for shooting. So, I went to do some shopping. When I was about to go, I ran into him. I asked if he wanted to go have lunch with me. We went to lunch and had a good time. After that, he was stuck in my head for quite some time. A few days later, I gave him a call. At the end of the trip, I went to buy something for him.

Opu: I did not think much of that. After we broke up, she used to call me up sometimes when she got depressed. Since her father died, and I knew how bad that felt, I decided to talk to her. But somehow after she returned, she said that she wanted to meet me. She then told me about how she was facing pressure from her family about marriage.

Sabnam: After my father passed away, my mother was anxious. She was scared about what would happen to me when she will be gone. A few days after that, his family members came to my house with mishti to talk to my mother. Later, all his family members came for the engagement ceremony. After that, everything went very smoothly.

Rafi: It was very nice to hear about your love story. I hope you both will have a very happily married life together. Now tell me Opu, what made you see Sabnam as the one for you, and what made you think that Opu is the one for you, Sabnam?

Opu: I have no specific reason. She has a beautiful smile that you can never say no to. She can make you do anything with that smile. She is extremely honest and straightforward. This is both good and bad. Sometimes, it hurts when she says something directly, but at other times, I'm happy that she does. She is someone that pays a lot of attention to her career, and supports mine too. She always thinks of the future, is very organised and cares about her family a lot.

Sabnam: One thing that I really like is that he is a very simple person. Even if something bad happens, he can keep his cool and brush it off. He is extremely caring about his family. One thing that my mother always told me is that a man who respects his mother will respect his sister, and a man that can respect his mother and sister will definitely respect his wife and child. Another thing that I really love about him is his sense of humour. He is also very handsome, I'm sure everyone can already see that (laughs). He really tries to like the things I like. I like it when men dressed up, so now he puts an effort into his outfits. He never cared about things like his shoes and belts matching, but now he does because I like it. He really gives preference to my likings, and I really appreciate it.

Rafi: It was really nice talking to you both. I am sure your married life will be very happy. Tell me Opu, does it make you jealous to see all her male fans?

Opu: Not jealous, but it can get awkward sometimes. Now, I don't go to her Facebook page as it is filled with comments from people who are attracted to her. I have accepted that this will happen because she is a celebrity.

Rafi: Sabnam, do you have any parting message for your fans?

Sabnam: I am very grateful to all of my fans. Before my marriage, many people warned me that it would cause my fan following to drop. But my fans have been very supportive, and I really appreciate that. Without my fans, I would not be where I am today.

Transcribed by Ridwan Intisaar Mahbub