SHUT UP AND LISTEN

Photo: Kazi Tahsin Agaz Apurbo

Nobody listens! Everybody just wants to talk. To let our voices be heard is more important than hearing what the other party has to say, it seems. But is that really so?

We give a lot of priority to speaking. And that's all good. But listening, too, is an equally vital skill and a necessary part of conversation. So, instead of just talking away, give your mouth rest and listen for some time!

And listen attentively. Don't just listen with ears, but with your heart and mind: hearing and listening are not the same.

Vasudeva listened with great attention. Listening carefully, he let everything enter his mind, birthplace and childhood, all that learning, all that searching, all joy, all distress.

Have you ever stopped to notice that most of the time, when you listen, you to do it just to give a reply, to argue back or to tell your own opinion? But a great listener does the opposite: s/he listens just for the sake of it, therefore making him more compassionate, sympathetic and even a good mediator, negotiator, etc.

We often come across phrases like 'the art of negotiating' and the value of being an entertaining talker. But communication is a two-way street, and just like there is the art of talking, there is an art of listening.   

This was among the ferryman's virtues one of the greatest: like only a few, he knew how to listen. Without him having spoken a word, the speaker sensed how Vasudeva let his words enter his mind, quiet, open, waiting, how he did not lose a single one, awaited not a single one with impatience, did not add his praise or re- buke, was just listening.

Meanwhile, all of us need at least one person in our life who we can trust wholeheartedly to share our deepest insecurities, secrets and frustrations. Depression and other mental problems now loom over our world probably more than ever; relationships and lives at large have become extremely complex. A confidant - someone you can openly talk to about your problems and miseries without being judged - is an angel in disguise.

Siddhartha felt, what a happy fortune it is, to confess to such a listener, to bury in his heart his own life, his own search, his own suffering.

Being a patient, attentive listener is a fantastic way of paying someone a compliment. In social gatherings, many feel shy and wonder what to say. Well, there is quite a simple solution: you don't need to be a storyteller yourself. Instead, be on the other side of the table: listen to stories of other people. Everybody loves a rapt audience.

A good listener is rare to find. Develop this trait, and you will do yourself, and others, a great favour. Never underestimate the power and importance of being a good listener.

"… And I also thank you for this, Vasudeva, for listening to me so well! These people are rare who know how to listen. And I did not meet a single one who knew it as well as you did. I will also learn in this respect from you."

(Excerpts from Hermann Hesse's novel, Siddhartha, have been used throughout the write-up).