How to be the perfect human being

Being the perfect human isn't easy. In fact, it's actually impossible for many people without certain inherent qualities, as told by our society. So here's a list of the things you should have to be deemed a perfect human being. Prepare to feel bad.

BE BEAUTIFUL

You can't start your journey without having the perfect hair, looks, body, etc. But the truth is, while society tells you that you should have those things, you don't actually need them. They're paltry compared to the inherent beauty that all of us can tap into. Be someone with a good, kind and compassionate heart, someone who is willing to reasonably go out of their way to help others out of the goodness of who they are. That is a lot more important than rusting superficial beauty. 

BE SMART

I mean this in terms of both intelligence and looking smart. As we all know, the only way someone can gauge intelligence is through straight As, and if you don't look smart, it only goes to show how much of a lazy and worthless bum you are.

Well, that's the theory of it, anyway. In practice, things get complicated. You'll notice that even though there are people who get top grades, they often lack wisdom in other things. Not being a standardised form of "intelligent" doesn't equate to stupidity, so don't beat yourself up about it. However, beating yourself up regarding looking smart is more justified. True, you shouldn't be judged or judge someone by what they wear, but considering that you're living in this world, there are certain ways of civilisation you should be aware of. Clothing doesn't define you, but it does help to leave impressions.

BE SUCCESSFUL

Everyone knows that being successful means having a high-income job that'll make your family happy. Anything below that and you're not worse than others. No need to backtrack, you read that right: you're NOT worse than others. Everyone has different views of success: high-income, lots of social media followers, co-owning a restaurant, becoming a well-known author, part-time musician, vape collector, etc. Despite being vastly different, all these views have one thing in common: your happiness. As long as what you consider to be your success makes you happy without hurting others in a reasonable way, you're good.

By now you should at least try and have an understanding that, in real terms, perfection doesn't actually exist. Even if it did, it's very bland and boring. It only serves to show you that you can't improve anymore after a certain point. In the end, if you couldn't already tell, being the perfect human being is about improving with time, and trying to be the best version of yourself, with all your vices and virtues.

Rasheed Khan is a hug monster making good music but terrible puns and jokes where he's probably the only one laughing. Ask him how to pronounce his name at aarcvard@gmail.com