Lest they judge
Once upon a time, Nasiruddin Hojja was riding a donkey with his friend.
Seeing them, a passerby commented how cruel they were to ride the hapless animal. So, Hojja decided to ride the donkey and have his friend walk beside him.
Now another passerby observed how selfish he was to make his friend walk. So, he decided to switch positions with his friend, only this time for his friend to be called selfish.
Finally, both Hojja and his friend decided to walk alongside the donkey only to be mocked and laughed at for not putting the donkey to use. The moral of the story is: "People will always judge you no matter what."
A century ago, Kamini Roy, a pathbreaking feminist and poet, wrote the poem "Pachhe Loke Kichhu Bole" (Lest They Judge). Most of us have read it during our school days but I realise today how powerful her words were.
Recently, I had to take one of the toughest decisions of my life to fight a major injustice against me. In the process, I consulted my family, friends, colleagues and relatives. With the exception of a few, most of them advised me not to fight against such a mighty opponent and move on with life instead.
Most were concerned that my career and whatever future I had would be further damaged when the news breaks out that I decided to battle. They also worried that my decision and actions would internationally damage the reputation and image of Bangladeshi executives.
But I would not have become who I am today if I always listened to everyone and took the pragmatic, risk-free approach.
Many wanted to understand how I could take such a mammoth decision while others in a similar circumstance did not. For me, it was simple – when you have faith in divinity and throw optimism on your back, then you will always see something flickering at the end of the tunnel. At the end of the day, we are all Hojjas! So, do what seems right and don't worry about lest they judge!
People will always judge you because they have their own ideas, understanding and experiences, which may or may not be the same as yours.
While it is true that most of us are guilty of worrying too much about what others think, various studies show that we actually overestimate how much, and how seriously, others think about our flaws. As a result, we become far more self-conscious and far less spontaneous and efficient than we could be.
To avoid being a victim of Lest they Judge, let's try to keep the following in mind:
1. Don't overestimate people's concern for you; 2. People you are talking to may belong to the insecure group; 3. Focus more on controlling your thoughts, not theirs; 4. You cannot please everyone; 5. Listen to what others have to say as it may throw light on a blind spot in your mind but you don't necessarily have to act on it; 6. Do what your instincts and good sense tell you is right; and 7. You know your situation better than anyone else.
As an individual, society, and above all as a nation, we must rise above our fear "Lest they Judge" and remain focused and work towards our goals, and success will inevitably follow at one point or the other.
The author is a telecom and management expert.