Jeff Bezos named baldest rich man alive; locals believe they have better candidates

Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos was named the baldest rich man alive, but that has raised an outcry around the world – especially in Chapasthan.  

Amid immense populist challenge, Jeff Bezos is on the verge of losing his long-held position to a Chapasthan policeman, another bald-headed man who once had hair in the millions. He is now bald, and has also accumulated massive wealth in different countries.

Whenever we talk about Bezos, we tend to talk about his wealth. That sort of affluent-ist stereotype has to be left behind, said a pedestrian in Dhoka, adding that it now must be ensured that he doesn't also become baldest rich guy.

We should know that Bezos can be compared with others based on things other than his wealth, such as the amount of hair on his head or his shiny, Amaz-on-ing chrome dome.

The judges of the award, Balffluent 2021, are still deciding which aspect to focus on – the thinning or lack of hair or the fattening of wallets – when deciding the winner.

Now Bezos, despite his billions, is in doubt and absolute fear about losing his position to a person who is totally unknown. That's the beauty of hair and the dollop of embezzlement -- humble follicles and offshore riches can make the richest and baldest person insecure.

Meanwhile, the Chapasthan policeman seems angry. He did not like the idea of being compared based on hair or lack thereof, even if it is with Bezos.

While Jeff Bezos's position is under constant threat from the policeman, another challenger appeared to exacerbate Bezos's follicle-challenged headache.

Bruhsell, the owner of an infamous e-commerce platform in Chapasthan, appeared from nowhere.

Bruhsell is all about potential. His head has a bit of hair, but everyone thinks that it would soon all be lost. The promise -- just like the promise of millions of deliveries on his e-commerce platform – was there. 

"Also, as soon as I lose the rest of my hair, it will make me more aerodynamic and I can climb up the ladder faster," Bruhsell said.

"Man, the way Chapasthan people are pushing me, I may fail to get myself into the top ten, let alone the top three. Although the new guy Bruhsell looks less threatening as he still has some hair, I am sure that he will get rid of it overnight to outperform us," Jeff Bezos expressed his fear fearlessly.

People are enjoying the competition -- the less the hair on the head, the higher the chance to be champion, they think. As two Chapasthan heads are causing a headache for the world's most known billionaire, the two heads are becoming more known by the day.

A local Chapasthan biker, while pushing his bike on the footpath, said joyfully, "Kick Bezos out of his position. We Chapasthan people deserve top position always, especially when it comes to corruption." 

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