How to be a social skydiver

"Life is like a combination lock; your job is to find the right numbers in the right order, so you can have anything you want." - Brian Tracy

In any given time in our lives, it is a truth acknowledged by everyone, either openly or privately, that we have had issues approaching other people. Even the seemingly simple act of just walking up to people (many times to the ones who are complete strangers to you) and striking up a conversation seems like the 'social equivalent of skydiving'. If you are not one of these people and find talking to anyone, anywhere and about almost anything 'easy' than you are definitely the minority. For the rest, you may read on as the aspiring social skydiver.

Make the mirror your best friend
In a country like Bangladesh, where you need to interact with all kinds of people for reasons both good and bad, being able to approach and talk to people can be an art all on its own. Things can be especially bad if you are an introvert. One of the all-time classic methods of practicing to speak to others (this works even if you intend on speaking in public, or in front of a large group of people) is standing in front of the mirror and practicing the things you intend on saying. This has been tried time and again, and honestly speaking, this method almost never fails to disappoint.

Tame your ego
It has to be confessed that not all interactions between people can be practiced in front of the mirror, in which case spontaneity becomes a priority. It is this trait that is presented as the main barrier for most and the what if's come into play: What if they think I'm weird? What if I'm ignored? What if they brush me off? What if I'm laughed at? The other side of having too much ego can be being a bit too spontaneous:
"One of the things that annoy me the most when anyone approaches me is when I do not get an appropriate introduction from the person speaking. I prefer to be introduced to the person first and have a proper explanation of the situation that they wish to talk about. Going directly to the point without any of these can be problematic unless I know the person speaking to me and the situation beforehand", says Ahmedullah Aziz, who works as a high ranking officer at a multi-national company.

Be cautious
"When it comes to approaching or having to interact with strangers, or even my elders, I try to take special care of the fact that I have to be cordial with my first steps, mixed with a tinge of caution. If the other person is equally amiable then everything surely turns out well. But if their demeanor is slightly doubtful then I just try to pull myself out without being rude to them as much as possible", comments Imteaz Khan, a young teacher from a reputed school in Dhaka who describes himself to be more 'introvert-ish'.
"I believe there should always be a certain level of mutual respect when talking to people. Be it you're your colleagues, your family members or complete strangers. However, when it comes to approaching my friends… It's a completely different matter", adds a smiling Aziz.

Simplicity – the best policy
When approaching people for the first time, it is best to keep it simple. It's best not to pretend to know things that you do not. Try your best to do a little homework about the person before approaching them, if it is possible. Otherwise, try to talk about the common grounds and experiences that you may have. You could try simply talking about hobbies, where they grew up or even something that they are passionate about.

Smile!   
At the end of the day, the important thing is to have a smile on your face whenever you have to face the problem of approaching others. That is one of the most crucial things that you will notice your friend doing who simply doesn't hesitate when approaching people.

Try, try, and try again
One of the secrets of approaching people and coming back satisfied is to have confidence and to use warm gestures so that you can disarm anyone who may not be too welcoming on the first meeting. But if you are still terrified of approaching people, you could pick up the experiment of interacting with strangers or even your elders' every day. Why not attend social events all by yourself once in a while? You can leave your boyfriend or girlfriend behind in this, and try events varying from book club meetings, art exhibitions, concerts, and what not.