As women, we have all been there — the ordeal that is lingerie shopping; wrapped in layers of discomfort, embarrassment, and sometimes downright frustration. While our city boasts an array of options from budget-friendly shops in the busy New Market area to high-end boutiques in posh malls, this particular aspect remains as awkward and uncomfortable as always.

For women, the act of buying a bra, a basic necessity for any female, comes with the unwelcome baggage of discussing their size and preferences with male salesmen. 

What a paradox! While lingerie is marketed as the epitome of femininity, the majority of lingerie shops are staffed with men. And for those shops that employ women, the prices are often prohibitively high, alienating the average shopper before she even crosses the threshold. 

The imbalance

Some things need to be cleared first. It is not the salesman's intention that feels off. No, these male assistants are almost always professional and respectful in doing their job.  However, their help, no matter how well-intended, often feels intrusive.

"I avoid going to stores altogether unless it's absolutely necessary," shares Nafisa, a 26-year-old teacher. "It's so awkward to explain my preference, band size and cup size to a man who has no idea what it's like to wear a bra," she explains with a look of utter discomfort, "And it's not just about size; sometimes I want to discuss fabric, design, padded or non-padded, but I hold back because it's just too uncomfortable." 

This sentiment resonates across all age groups and professions. For many women, the embarrassment stems not just from having to articulate something deeply personal but also sometimes from the casual dismissiveness of male salesmen. 

"I needed a new sports bra and the male salesperson kept suggesting the wrong sizes. When I told him it would not fit me, he just replied, 'It will loosen.' How would he even know?" recounts Rima, a 33-year-old fitness instructor. 

A price for privacy

The rare lingerie stores staffed by women are often synonymous with high-end shopping. Step into one of these shops, and you will likely find yourself surrounded by neatly arranged racks, soft lighting, and the presence of female sales assistants. But all that will come with a hefty price tag. 

"I remember walking into a lingerie boutique once that had female staff. Surprise, surprise! However, my happiness of finding the 'dream shop' vanished when the price tags gave me a heart attack," says Tania, a university student. "Even the most basic bras were way beyond my budget and I never bothered to check out the sets." 

That is not the end of the story. Even when you do find female staff ready to assist you, guess who is sitting at the counter to bill your purchase? That's right. The male in-charge.

It's worth a moment of silence, isn't it?

Breaking the Silence 

What makes this issue particularly aggravating is how little it is discussed. Lingerie shopping is still shrouded in taboo, and women are often left to navigate these challenges alone. 

"Whenever I bring this up with friends or family, the conversation quickly shifts," says Ayesha, a 34-year-old banker. "People either laugh it off or suggest online shopping as a solution. But online shopping isn't always practical. Sizes can be inconsistent, and returns are either a hassle or not an option at all." 

The root of the problem lies in the lack of understanding within the lingerie retail market. While some strides have been made, such as the introduction of more sizes and online platforms, the in-store experience remains largely unchanged. 

One possible solution is to encourage more stores to hire female sales staff, even in budget-friendly shops.  Before you rush to say that girls don't want to work in these markets, think again. If a safe working environment is provided, girls will work. If girls are shopping, girls will sell.

"I'm not asking for luxury treatment," says Sumi, a 25-year-old graphic designer. "I just want to shop in peace without feeling like I need to justify my choices to someone who doesn't understand them. Is that too much to ask?" 

At the end of the day, lingerie shopping should not be an embarrassment. It's time for businesses to recognise that comfort goes beyond the product itself; it's also largely about the environment in which it is sold. 

Don't we always say that women deserve better? Why not give them that — better options, better service, and better prices? Until then, the struggle of lingerie shopping will remain a symbol of how even the most basic needs can become a challenge in a society that often overlooks women's needs.