Love for your sibling

As an elder sister I have grown accustomed to sibling rivalry - a constant in my life ever since my little brother learnt to speak even the most elementary of words. It is quite unfortunate when siblings who were once close to each other fall apart because of misunderstandings caused by third parties or property disputes. Here are a few crucial steps which, if applied in real life, can help to mitigate the evil forces of sibling rivalry. Siblings more often than not are the only people who can truly relate to you, coming from the same background and with the host of shared life experiences. They are also our playmates, friends and earliest partners in crime. So the  bond that is priceless, needs to be nurtured in adulthood, lest we forget the blessing as the world and its vices try to drive a wedge in between.                                                          

SHOW LOYALTY 

Loyalty is one of the most significant elements, which if demonstrated rigorously, can keep any bond intact. With loyalty is entwined the trust factor, which indicates you should be a great confidante to your sibling and hence refrain yourself from blurting out embarrassing facts that s/he does not feel comfortable in revealing, or disclosing your sibling's deepest secrets to other people which may also include close friends and even family. Being faithful to your sibling also implies that you should not backbite or slander them no matter what the situation. 

BE FRIENDS

Treating your sibling as a friend can strengthen the foundation of the relationship significantly. Viewing the bond as that of friendship leads to an exchange of true feelings, personal opinions, and inhibitions, and the more openly your sibling expresses themselves to you, the more constructively you can guide and advise them to act in a sensible manner, which in turn is likely to foster a healthy relationship. Since friendship usually paves the way for open communication, the more freely you communicate with your sibling, the fewer chances there are of circumstances creating friction between you two.

BE OBSERVANT 

Besides communicating, observing your sibling carefully allows you to gain a better insight of their characteristics. Sometimes even the tiniest of details ranging from the preference of TV shows, type of music, books, or favourite celebrities, to the kind of friends they have can give you ample information outlining your sibling's personality. You should keep an eye on your siblings' actions without giving them the impression that you are trying to pry or babysit as it might make them feel uncomfortable.  The more you know your sibling inside out, the easier it will be to tackle the situation in the event of a dispute, without your sibling turning into your arch nemesis.

DON'T BE JEALOUS 

Jealousy is poison--one that can cause a lot of harm to any sort of bond. It clouds one's judgment and breeds insecurity, hatred and bitterness.  If your father gives your older brother three apartments and you only two, quit pouncing on his decision and crying "foul play". Rather, sit back and think carefully as to why he would take such a step. It could be that your brother is struggling to support his children, while you on the other hand are single and still living with your parents. 

If you keep track of the love that flows in your heart for your sibling and the same values that you guys grew up with, does it really matter who gets more? After all have you not heard the saying ''what is mine is yours?" 

As much as sibling rivalry over a packet of Lays or the TV remote is a natural phenomenon we should be careful not to overstep our boundaries. After all, the sibling-relation is a blessing, one we should nurture with an abundance of affection and patience to sustain an everlasting bond.

By Mehnaz Tabassum Khaleel

Photo: Collected