The Age Dilemma in Women of Bangladesh

Dr. Mahbuba Nasreen, Director of Institute of Disaster Management and Vulnerability Studies at the University of Dhaka, has almost 30 years worth of expertise in research concerning gender, social inclusion and indigenous women. We sat down with her after the Dove “How Old Are You?” roundtable discussion, jointly organised by The Daily Star and Dove on the 18th of October, to ask why women are so apprehensive about revealing their age. And this led to an interesting discussion about how the question of age poses its own set of unique challenges for the women in Bangladesh.

First of all, age-anxiety is not a phenomenon that exists across all demographics. While urban women might be unwilling to answer this question, rural women are altogether unaware about their real age. “Rural women are oftentimes so ignorant of their health and nutritional needs that they end up looking older than they actually are. They also lack access to mass media outlets”, says Dr. Nasreen. Whereas every time an urban woman opens a magazine, newspaper or television, she is bombarded with airbrushed images of young models advertising different anti-aging treatments and advice columns on how to look younger. Criticism from friends and family about their “dwindling good looks” also adds to their stigma.

Women on the verge of menopause suffer the most in this regard, oftentimes experiencing depression and vertigo because of the fear that their beauty is beyond them. Dr Nasreen elaborates,“In many western countries we will see entire support systems dedicated for helping women undergoing menopause to resolve their age-anxieties. But menopause is a topic that is hardly ever addressed in Bangladesh.Those of us who do understand menopause know that it does not affect our sex appeal.” Another popular myth that needs to be debunked is that women ought to marry men who are much older in order to feel young and beautiful in the long term. Because apparently, "men grow younger while women grow much older”.“Instead what has been shown to be correct is that libido levels remain more or less constant in women but they often take a turn for the worse in older men”, she explains. 

Patriarchy uses the people around us to insinuate how the world always favours younger women; it can be through the mother who tells us to get married “while there is still time”, or the husband who tells us to lose weight after we've given birth or the friend who buys us anti-aging creams for our birthdays. Whereas it is perfectly acceptable to everyone that men shouldn't need to worry about their aging good looks. 

In conclusion Dr Nasreen states, “Beauty that is ageless comes from our ability to share laughter with people of all ages. Women have to overcome many hurdles and difficulties throughout their lives, but if at the end of the day they still choose to celebrate the silver linings then that is all they need to feel young.”

By Antara Islam

Photo: Rashed Shumon