Straight from the Elephant's Mouth

One of our brothers remained stranded on your side of the water. Stranded is actually a polite way to put it; in reality he was trapped only. Having been washed across from a different region altogether, he must have thought his ordeal would soon come to a close when people pretending to be from our region came to help him. They failed miserably making me realise no matter how powerful your region is, talks of elephant rescue and tiger population are all hot gas; maybe you guys can look into channeling all that hot gas every parliament session is sure to emanate and solve your cooking problem. But I digress, no? As an elephant, I should not be spending time formulating your policies, although I would never be demented enough to come up with a plan where I suddenly declare all commercial buildings illegal, only to make a U-turn and say, “Ok give us 10 lakh and you can do whatever you want again.”

But I digress again, no? A curse of having a long, long memory only. Which brings me to my point. If you were one of those jerks who shot my friend with a dart, tied his legs in chains and then strapped him to a Mango tree (I can snap most material, you know that right?) and then failed to help him in any way, you should know, I remember your faces.  And I will find you. Not to hunt you of course; I can't remember the last time any elephant went out of his way to hunt a man. But I will express my disappointment in your behaviour. I am sorry, but level with me for a minute, if your peanut sized brains can handle that. How am I, a creature that does not speak your language, to assume that someone is trying to save my life when they shoot me, tie me up and then a mighty horde of humans stands in front of me, flashing light and pointing? Does that sound like a normal rescue mission to you? We prefer to stand next to our injured friends and cry because that makes more sense, only. We then bury them with sticks and stones, but we don't forget.

Now, I have a doubt about the rescue mission from my region too. Perhaps they have pre-poned that as well. A lot of you have thrown shade my friend's way (learned that lingo) because you have called him an elephant of a distant nationality. This confuses me, only. How did you separate these so-called regions? Why are you fighting over dirt, when you have no choice in it? Or you do, so I heard. Apparently, you can become another region's member by winning lotteries or having a lot of money, which must be very nice. I still don't get why you would not save me if I was washed up in your locality. 

And mother promise, father promise, God promise, I or any of us have never expressed any affiliation with any nation. If the elephants here are anything like the people, then probably I or BangaBahadur would have zero reason for expressing affiliation with any of YOU lot either, because none of you currently make any sense to me. I hope this letter finds you in the best of health and do my a favour and cover our friend in sticks, stones and leaves. At least pay him his last respect 

Your friend

Whatever name you gave me.