Cat Fight

Samsung halts the production of the Samsung Note 7 smart phone after the incidents of battery explosions. Sigh, I wished this cause and effect applied to all the armaments companies in the world – we'd at least see the end of war in Syria.

But that won't happen. Just as the explosive Trump wouldn't step down even at the eleventh hour calls from his fellow Republicans. The battle for the next US President continues in full swing, though not without its share of over-Trumps and Hillary-ous moments.

But there were the likes of George Washington, FDR, JFK and even as recently as The Gipper. If mathematicians were to describe the historical trend of the US Presidential Election, they would simply say it is exponentially decaying. I pity the brand new voter who eagerly waits for eighteen years to finally get the right to vote and all he gets are the two choices…

But it is the digital age. Hence the 2016 US Presidential Election is plagued with two digital issues: Trump with the 'wall' and Clinton with 'emails'. Trump has alienated many with his stance on aliens and Hillary Clinton with the use of her private email. But judging from the two debates to date, one has to say it's a cat fight befitting any Zee TV serial.

No matter what the outcome, the experience is that of death, near death or life sucks. The 2016 election is like a bungee jump. If Trump wins, that means the chord has snapped. If Trump loses narrowly, it's a near death experience with the head just six inches away from the ground before the rebound. If Clinton wins by a huge margin, it's a normal jump and you're back to the pains of life while having to deal with her.

Given the choice on November 1, I would watch a third division football game in Bangladesh. In fact, any sport, no matter of what division and played against whom, comes with fierce passion and sentiments and with everything under the sun at stake. Needless to say that the one day series of the Tigers versus the Lions is another fierce and passionate battle, but this cat fight comes with a lot of firepower that pales the US Presidential race into insignificance.

Thus, emotions run high on the second ODI between Bangladesh and England.

Mashrafe Bin Mortaza and Sabbir Rahman are booked for Level 1 offences. They are fined and given demerit points. All for 'excessive' celebrations. Thank heavens the ICC didn't see the SSC kids celebrating their getting 5.0 GPAs who would be slapped with a reduced 4.0 GPA for 'excessive' celebrations with 'V' signs.

Buttler, take it easy, man! I know the muggy weather can get to you. It does to me too. Buttlerify — new addition to the Urban Dictionary — to be a spoilsport and take the fun out of things. Example: Naveed Mahbub did not buttlerify the GPA joke while alluding to the Buttler incident.

If I were in Mashrafe's place when asked whether there would be any apologies, I'd answer: "For our 190 seconds of celebration in my country and on my field? Sure! As soon as they apologise for their 190 years of celebration in my country." [Smirk]

Come on Buttler, Light My Fire!

And he does. As do his team mates and their formidable opponents. After all, these are cricketing brethren. There is love. There is heat. There is the silent treatment, literally, as per the Facebook campaign for fans to remain silent in Chittagong when Buttler returns from the field. But it all ends with three superb games of cricket. After all, when it is the battle of the felines, one can expect nothing but the best.

Good going boys — on both sides!

The writer is an engineer at Ford & Qualcomm USA and CEO of IBM & Nokia Siemens Networks Bangladesh turned comedian (by choice), the host of ABC Radio's Good Morning Bangladesh and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club.

E-mail: naveed@naveedmahbub.com