Fictional CV of a Student Tutor

NAME

•  Teacher #7 (as per the student's convenience to remember)

QUALIFICATIONS

•  Is very qualified at pretending to be an A Level student.
•  Is likely to agree to whatever you pay. All that's required is money.
•  Is most likely to agree to work for low pay if you provide snacks.
•  Has magical grade enhancing abilities and uses it to change E's to A's.
•  Is very qualified in using Google in case of a “teacher's block”, which will happen 99% of the time. The 1% is a shaky ground.
•  Is highly skilled in whipping up the same excuse every time for being late: “I had an exam.”
•  Knows how to make it look like the student's fault should he/she fail his/her subjects.

BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT

•  Won a perfect attendance award in the third grade.

EXPERIENCE

•  Taught numerous students in this lifetime (17 years).
•  Taught neighbour's daughter basic English she already knows which helped her pass the school admission test even though she didn't ask for help in that.

CAREER OBJECTIVE

•  To collect enough funds to open an online badge store, or buy an iPhone. Or both.

HOBBIES

•  To play Counter Strike, Call of Duty, GTA 5, Sims 4, play the guitar (can play Smoke on the Water on the E string), cook instant noodles and sleep just about anywhere as long as it is flat.

Maisha Maliha speaks what crosses her mind in the most positive way but is often misinterpreted and thought to be a lunatic. Unfollow her at facebook.com/MyshoeMaliha