This Week's Horrorscope
ARIES
Mix hot water and cold water. You get llamas.
TAURUS
Do you have your wings now? Okay.
GEMINI
I told you to quit it with the "gem" puns.
CANCER
Still not platinum yet bro. What you doing?
LEO
I regret my choices. Your future is bleak.
VIRGO
I suppose you've found employment by now.
LIBRA
Libya is a good place for you to settle in.
SCORPIO
I am not saying you stink but...
SAGITTARIUS
Don't play Hanzo. Just don't.
CAPRICORN
Flip through the pages of an empty notebook. You'll feel better.
AQUARIUS
If the Mexicans are so bad, how do you explain tacos?
PISCES
Buying games every other weekend is not good for your wallet.
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