Write to Mita
Dear Mita,
I am worried about my sister who is 19 years old and is in a relationship with one of her friends. I feel that the boy is very immature and doesn't know how to handle a relationship. My sister is also worried that as we belong to completely different economic and social standing, our family would not accept their relationship. She has been trying to make him understand that he needs to stand on his feet if this relationship is to work. Despite her pleas, he hardly tries to do anything but he claims to be madly in love with her. Now she's unsure whether she should stay in this relationship or call this thing off. She's also worried that if she breaks up with him, he'd be shattered and this would make her feel guilty. As her brother, I feel her pain and would really like to offer a way out of this situation. Please help.
Concerned Brother
Dear Concerned,
It is heartening to see you so concerned about your sister. I am sure with a supportive brother like you she will be able to overcome any situation in her life. Sometimes one has to take difficult decisions in order to resolve problems that will have future implications. On matters of relationships it is best to be frank, practical and forthright. Apparently, this person is not right for your sister, the sooner she faces this reality the better for everyone. Long term relationship requires a maturity that he does not seem to have. To be honest, she should break off with him and the sooner the better. He might be shattered now but will get over it eventually. Life is long and they are young, both of them will have other relationships before they finally settle down.
Dear Mita,
I am an 18-year-old girl and the only daughter of my parents. I belong to a somewhat conservative family. I'm in love with a guy who studies with me and we are both quite serious about our relationship. The problem is that his grades are not up to the mark and he probably won't be able to enroll in a good public university of the country. He is aware of this too and is quite worried about that. I want to support him in everything but am afraid that if he cannot manage a good education or job, my parents will not accept our relationship. I am quite upset about this. Please help me.
Anxious
Dear Anxious,
You are only 18 and have a long way to go both in your personal and professional life before you settle down. Please do concentrate on your studies and ask him to do the same. If he loves you so much then he needs to make more of an effort to deserve you. Remember, there is nothing one cannot do with hard work and determination. So please encourage him to do something that you will be proud of then your family will surely accept him.
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