THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE
Aries
Drink a bottle of liquid chewing gum.
Taurus
Open your desk to find the best tennis balls in town.
Gemini
Every time you fall, I laugh.
Cancer
Watch your wooden watch chuck wood.
Leo
Rush into the nearest department store screaming "LEROY JENKINS!"
Virgo
Please just Virgo away
Libra
Your favourite football club will hire your neighbourhood tong-wala.
Scorpio
Take off your chainmail armour and throw it at the Orcs.
Sagittarius
If you play Chromie, you need to go to your room and think about what you're doing.
Capricorn
I see little people have already taken over your cap.
Aquarius
Stop being so selfish and share your bottle caps.
Pisces
We are not fish. Stop trying to catch us.
Comments