THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE
Aries
If you jump too much, you won't be able to breathe.
Taurus
Do not charge in to a fight without consulting a Murloc first.
Gemini
Just get yourself some coffee.
Cancer
Use nasal drops sparingly please.
Leo
I am not too sure about that hotdog costume.
Virgo
Try to score a goal like Mandzukic, fail, cry.
Libra
Time to tilt your head and dance to K-Pop.
Scorpio
Do NOT go near that bull. Don't.
Sagittarius
If you're stuck in traffic during this month, consider eating your tyre.
Capricorn
Make a house of cards and live in it.
Aquarius
You need to get a cycle. Make it ride you.
Pisces
Your pockets are for keeping your tears in.
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