This Week's Horrorscope
ARIES
If you've never heard of the chukum bros, what have you done?
TAURUS
There seems to be a steady influx of otters in my office.
GEMINI
I don't care if you've made yourself a derp. Get rid of it.
CANCER
Too much sugar can cause you to get schwifty!
LEO
Push me to the edge.
VIRGO
All my friends are dead.
LIBRA
Rain drop.
SCORPIO
Drop top on the rich.
SAGITTARIUS
See, I get the golden coins. You only get paper pieces.
CAPRICORN
Is the skin to keep the world out?
AQUARIUS
Or our bodies in?
PISCES
It doesn't feel like home.
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