This Week's Horrorscope
ARIES
Able bodied men and women need to sit up and turn down the AC/fan because it's getting cold.
TAURUS
More teenagers are turning out to be responsible young citizens, like the ones reading this line.
GEMINI
A big thing has appeared near you, move before you are crushed.
CANCER
Remus and Romulus were twin brothers, they built a village, then invited others.
LEO
Never let someone tell you what to do unless it's someone smart because you're not.
VIRGO
Ultimate pleasure awaits those who can hold back a sneeze successfully. Try it.
LIBRA
"Nobody knows the fumbles I've seen"- Taskin Ahmed on Bangladeshi fielders.
SCORPIO
Universal truths are slightly truer than Galactic truths, followed by Earthly truths which are just lies.
SAGITTARIUS
Superman is the same as Perman, but with an extra Su.
CAPRICORN
Ominous are the signs if predicates in your sentences you put before subjects.
AQUARIUS
Dim the lights and turn on the music because I don't like what I see or what I hear.
PISCES
Opacity in Ghosts is a feature that only first appeared in 1967, thanks to air pollution.
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