The right to choose

I have been asked this question a couple of times: Is women's clothing linked to their empowerment? I understand how in many cases when a woman who has been confined to a piece of cloth for decades feels empowered when she finally sheds it. However, my answer to this particular question is always a big fat no.

Whether a woman wears a miniskirt or a hijab, what she wears has no correlation to empowerment or even disempowerment, under common circumstances. It is however linked to how she thinks, and how the people around her respond to her thoughts that leads to her sense of confidence, that ultimately helps her achieve empowerment.

Another less discussed issues when we talk about women's empowerment is divorce. What is the link between divorce and empowerment of women, if any? Luckily for us, there is research that may guide us towards a particular answer. But I can only refer to those carried out in other parts of the world, as there is still a lack of proper research in the context of Bangladesh. Most research studies however come to the conclusion that while the number of divorces has increased substantially worldwide (doubling over the last decade in Bangladesh alone), there is no evidence to suggest that it directly leads to empowerment of women.

Yes, the growing trends of divorce certainly hint at the number of women speaking out about unhappy marriages, and yes, it cannot be denied that for a woman who can support herself and her children financially the option of divorce (if her situation forces her to do so) is more viable than for a woman who is not as financially sound. On the contrary, a woman in general feels empowered not when she gets a divorce (because she would probably not get it even if she is financially stable), but when her family and those around her support her decision and choices in life—meaning when she feels accepted.

To think that divorce would lead to empowerment of any kind might even be naïve to a certain extent, because let's face it, marriage in our part of the world, more than anything else, acts as a society-approved umbrella, a means of remaining "secure" and obtaining a status of respectability. A single mom still remains looked down upon, even if she is providing for her family and her off-springs. Even when the biological father has nothing to contribute—financially or emotionally—the child still needs a father's name, be it in school or later on in life. A divorcee is someone who is socially excluded and let's not even go into the life of a divorcee woman—that's a discussion that merits a separate article.

Research also shows that when both partners in a conjugal relationship earn and contribute to the family, there are better chances of them sticking it out because they are more prepared, and have more to offer to themselves as well as their family because of their spending capacity, which may be more than that of a single-income family.

The fact that a woman who earns can bail out of her marriage if need be much more easily compared to a woman who does not earn, cannot be denied. But yes, every case is different. A woman might come out of her marriage and feel like she has control over her life and circumstances all over again; but to think that divorce in itself is closely associated to empowerment might be stretching it a bit too far.

Long story short, covering one's legs or not, sporting a tattoo or not, even earning one's own living does not make a woman feel empowered. Empowerment is a social process—it is the right to make one's choices, and feel confident about owning them. It is not being blamed for it, or being called names for it. It is not when a man says, "Women these days have it all, what are they complaining about?" or when he says, "I no longer approach women in fear of another #MeToo campaign." It is about women taking a stand for themselves and their rights and men supporting them, celebrating them. So yes, contrary to popular belief, divorce does not necessarily lead to empowerment of women—what makes her feel empowered is her knowing for sure that it is her right to make her choices, and that she will not be questioned for it.

Syeda Samara Mortada is an advocate for equal rights and a development practitioner.