This Week's Horrorscope
ARIES
Walls close in and the ground disappears, I wish I could fly.
TAURUS
Hamilcar Barca would have been proud of us.
GEMINI
Old memories no longer haunt you unless the new ones are the same.
CANCER
A mad man once told me he knew happiness, I failed to smile.
LEO
Net Run Rates can take a seat on the bench as long as we have good Net Fun Rates.
VIRGO
Don't talk to me about sports ever again.
LIBRA
Was it worth a piece of your heart? Yes.
SCORPIO
Hyped up and let down are the only two mental states that exist.
SAGITTARIUS
Evermore will the pain last, unless there's joy with which it will wash down.
CAPRICORN
Rope interests you and that is not something to be ashamed of.
AQUARIUS
Eleven is a number that is big, but it's not big enough.
PISCES
I wish I could make you happy but no.
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