Letters to the past

There was a thought, a question,

Perhaps a doubt somewhere in my mind.

What are those things and beliefs

That I have left behind?

Would you happen to know,

How it all came down on me?

How is it that I have become

The things I said I will never be?

Do you remember the promise I made

Back at the age of ten?

When father scolded me for a wrong doing

And I said I will never do it again?

Mother took me by the arm,

Made me promise for their sake.

Isn't it funny how I broke

Those vows I said I will never break?

There were things I always wanted to try,

Things I was forbidden to do

But as I kept watching from the side-lines,

My curiosity only grew.

Just once, maybe twice

Thrice won't hurt either

How could I end up going on and on

And let my guilty pleasures last forever?

Told myself I would always tell the truth

Yet here I stand today

Falling into trouble every now and then,

I spit out lies finding no other way.

Plagued with irrational thoughts, I felt so lost

Guess I never knew myself that well

Can you tell me how much it might have cost

For the honesty I said I'd never sell?

At times I keep asking myself

How it all came to be?

How is it that the things I once detested

Are now part of my reality?

Does it happen to everybody

Or was fate only cruel to me?

Dear past please tell me how I've become

The things I said I'll never be.

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