Dilemmas of life

'Soul mates do not exist!' my dear friend bellowed at the top of her lungs.

Married for fifteen years, she had this non-stop projection that her husband was certainly not the prince charming assigned in the heavens for her, and that she had somehow missed out on her chance at 'one true love,' who was also residing somewhere else on the far side of the Earth, lamenting the same. She believes that given the chance to 're-marry' the same person, she would certainly 're-think' her decision!

As gloomy as the circumstance may seem, reality projects a different scenario. They are actually happily married with four beautiful children in the picture!

Confused more than ever? 

Let's get down to the basics. 

The dreamy notion that fairy tales and most Disney movies sell is that love is forever and that the person you marry is your soulmate. This is where the confusion lies. Both the certainties are often mutually exclusive. You are one hell of a lucky person if you get to be married to your best friend, aka your soulmate, but that is just a wildcard that luckily worked for you. Not everybody's luck works the same way, and maybe for a better reason!

Let's break it down a bit more.

What does the word soulmate mean?  People often define it as person who has the same thoughts, aspirations, and even the same sense of humour, laughing at the same jokes. But how many times have we heard the elders articulate that a marriage is truly successful between two individuals with completely opposite traits and characteristics!

In simple terms, what they mean is— one fulfils the shortcomings of the other.

Let's get back to the case of my dear friend again; she loves shopping and can spend hours in a shopping mall, spending any amount you give her in a day — even a whopping crore!

That's quite a talent she has there, but her husband on the other hand is very thoughtful and would only buy what is necessary, get out of the mall and get on with his life. So, naturally, hubby takes care of the shopping while she does other things. Thank God!

I personally love the same things my friend has a knack for. I can do the same amount of shopping, gossip about tinsel-town for hours, read tonnes of romantic novels and whine about bad food at kitty parties. We are so much alike and have been like this since our diaper days. There are times I can visualise what my friend is thinking, without even hearing what she has to say. Any funny situation arises; we think of each other instantaneously and contemplate how we would have laughed our hearts out at the state of affairs.

Yes! We are soulmates and have been so for years. We are alike and we are best friends.

Her husband completes her whereas I, her best friend, compliment her. Perhaps there is the difference!

So for those looking for soulmates in their beloved and having a hard time, rethink the situation.

Your soulmate may just be your sister, brother, friend, mother, next door neighbour, dog, cat... It's time you gave your spouse a break.

Know this; he is, beyond doubt, trying his best to keep you happy. It's just not his fault that both of you do not fancy watching 'Gossip Girls' together.

And thank God for that again!

Photo: LS Archive/Sazzad Ibne Sayed