I find very little time to devote to a hobby or learn a new skill because most of my time is spent tripping down stairs, being eternally scared the elevator doors are going to hit me as they close or sitting in a car terrified because each bump on the road is another chance my coffee is going to spill out of its cup and on me.

When you are on the clumsier side, life has many obstacles. As a child my mom dressed me up head to toe in adorable outfits and somehow I carried it like a pro. Lately, as much as I love pastel shades, I keep having to shove them to the back of my closet because I know if I’m around food or stationary, my outfit will not emerge victorious.

Sometimes even acts of kindness go wrong. As I approached a door at university I saw an elderly teacher approaching so I opened the door for him and he smiled and nodded at me, pleased at what I did. While I stood holding the door open I hear a thud and then realise I totally miscalculated how long I had to keep holding the door open in order for him to pass and had ended up hitting him with the door trying to close it. At this point I panicked and rapidly walked away.

During a presentation at university, instead of being glued to one spot, I decided to walk a little as I spoke while making direct eye contact with my audience to show everyone how confident a speaker I was. Clever right? Halfway during my presentation, I trip on the wires on the floor succesfully knocking out connection to the computer as well as the projector.

I had to take an unwanted break in the middle of my presentation while a kind volunteer rebooted the computer, reset the projector while the rest of the class patiently waited for me to pick up my presentation where I left off. Not just that, but due to the shut down the memory of the computer was wiped out completely and each student who came after me had to bring their slides again in their pendrive even though everyone had already copied it to the computer at the beginning of the class. Thankfully I only provided entertainment to the room and the teacher’s marking scheme didn’t include whether the student had their life together.

If there is a world record for how many times it is possible for someone to trip in a line waiting to order coffee, I have broken it. I realise I have very little chance of ever being recruited by the secret service. Can you imagine me being tasked to break into a museum in the middle of the night, past the motion detector laser beams to retrieve a 7th century priceless ceramic vase? That vase has better chances of survival in the museum than a contestant with a heartbreaking emotional backstory in the elimination round of American Idol.

As for me, my chances of survival depend solely on how carefully I avoid solid objects that I can collide with.

Mrittika Anan Rahman is a daydreamer trying hard not to run into things while walking. Find her at anan_rahman7@yahoo.com