I’m already hungry. Let’s get to the point.

The first staple on the table is homemade chicken. The primary point that needs to be addressed is that there are a myriad of ways in which chicken can be prepared, depending on whatever your heart desires at any given time. Each present their own merits that adorn the versatile poultry. However, the different styles of cooking all boil down to the core of having chicken as a staple. If you enjoy having chicken with every meal, you are probably a traditionalist at heart. While beef, mutton, or seafood provide exciting options for your meals, all you want from life is to come back home to a loyal, loving spouse. Having a spouse may not be an option now, but chicken will always wait for you.

The next item would be the classic lemon. If you’re someone who likes fun but in moderate amounts, then you probably are a devout lover of lemons. Whether you’re eating kebab, rice, or have taken questionable attempts at cooking food that ended up being terribly bland, the mighty lemon is always your comrade. Squeezing a slice of the miraculous citrus fruit with every meal means that you like having a good time but would like it if it ended within your curfew because you want to go back to the comfort and security of life as soon as you can.

On the more avant-garde side of things awaits the pumpkin. While it may be an odd choice for a staple item, eating pumpkin for every meal says a lot more than you might think. If you’re someone who likes pumpkin to accompany your meal consisting of rice, you enjoy stability. Nay, you crave stability. As a result, it is translated into your addiction of pumpkin, as it is the glue that holds the rice and daal together. You may also be someone who has been told that eating pumpkin regularly will improve your eyesight. Alas, life is just a platter of lies.

If you’re someone who likes some chili in every bite, you may be a lover of all the exciting things life has to offer. You’re someone who seeks adventure everywhere and this desire has translated into your food habits. You might also be someone who spits in the face of the evolutionary responses of fruits in order to feel things.

Finally, the last food item may not be a staple out of respect for your digestive system, but it speaks a lot about your character nonetheless: achaar. Now, we may occasionally have phases where we mix achaar with anything and everything we’re having and those phases may pass as quickly as winter in Dhaka. But even this fleeting romance let’s everyone know that you might be one of the few lucky ones who are privy to a prestigious cult. The cult being one of aunties who quietly usher you aside at family gatherings, ask if you’ve liked their achaar, and then send two more jars of it even though you aren’t done with the other three at home. Additionally, if you’re someone who actually has achaar with every meal then it says only one thing: your digestive system is the belle of the ball and you may actually be a psychopath.

Fatima Jahan Ena considers herself to be a chaotically neutral egg with feelings. Fight her at mail2ena@gmail.com