Satire

Shoppers say new Eid collection ‘to die for’

Illustration: E Raza Ronny

Along with miseries, the pandemic has certainly brought citizens with generational privilege things to look forward to.

For instance, the exclusive collection of personal protective equipment (PPE) for Eid was the rage among people with daddy's 100 percent legitimate business money.

After a visit to the shops on Chand Raat, this reporter saw droves of mask-wearing families squeezing between individuals and peeking over shoulders to get a look at the newest collections.

"They have this coughing cool as hell protective overall, and that too in my favourite colour!" said Sadman Zaman, a university student who protested the protest for reduced tuition fees.

"I have full rights to make independent choices unlike poor people. I didn't create the economic system that syphons resources from them and showers it on my family," he said when asked why did he not pick the much cooler blue overall.

Fahad Zaman was scanning the safety-goggle display, picking one up with his disinfected hands and putting it on his infected face. "How do these look?" he asked this reporter, who was wearing matching goggles, which was unacceptable because he had bought that "one-of-a-kind" pair for Eid reporting.

The goggles came in different colours and styles, belonging to popular brands like Ray-bun, Pola, Guchi, Appel and Goggle.

Among all items, face-mask sellers were the winners in this pandemic. Customers were thronging mask stalls, which had a wide variety to offer. Shoppers had several materials to choose from -- velvet, georgette, silk, jamdani -- with embroidered patterns and tassels.

"Madam, these were specially imported from Thailand. You won't find these in any other pandemic," said a shopkeeper, trying to entice his potential buyer.

"These look local to me. I want a mask so beautiful it'll make the coronavirus beg to get inside me," the middle-aged woman retorted.

When asked how business is going, Nandu Zaman, a local shopkeeper, said, "After pivoting to selling PPE, business has been booming. It's as if people think Covid-22 cases are dwindling to zero instead of rising every day."

"Why are people buying so much when they can't go out on Eid?" asked this reporter.

"Hell, if I know," Nandu replied.

To find an answer, the reporter went from shop to shop, dodging spit particles and elbowing anyone who came close. Then he encountered someone who was rotating for five minutes at one point with her phone held up. She kept saying "Bhai, price?", "Price, brother?", "Mama, price?"

Sufia Zaman was, in fact, live broadcasting from her Facebook page "Cundar Cundar Jama Kulakshun" to provide her audience an authentic Eid shopping experience.

"There are 15 people watching right now. They'd be lost without my recommendation. Look, they're watching you now!" Sufia said, while pointing the camera at the reporter.

When asked about the significance of Eid shopping in this pandemic, she said, "Shopping is my passion. I shop and I shop, but I'm never satisfied. Online-shopping can never replace physically going to the store. I must caress the product, smell it, feel it, to be one with it."

"This virus will not separate our three-piece salwar kameez from our tailors," she remarked.

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Shoppers say new Eid collection ‘to die for’

Illustration: E Raza Ronny

Along with miseries, the pandemic has certainly brought citizens with generational privilege things to look forward to.

For instance, the exclusive collection of personal protective equipment (PPE) for Eid was the rage among people with daddy's 100 percent legitimate business money.

After a visit to the shops on Chand Raat, this reporter saw droves of mask-wearing families squeezing between individuals and peeking over shoulders to get a look at the newest collections.

"They have this coughing cool as hell protective overall, and that too in my favourite colour!" said Sadman Zaman, a university student who protested the protest for reduced tuition fees.

"I have full rights to make independent choices unlike poor people. I didn't create the economic system that syphons resources from them and showers it on my family," he said when asked why did he not pick the much cooler blue overall.

Fahad Zaman was scanning the safety-goggle display, picking one up with his disinfected hands and putting it on his infected face. "How do these look?" he asked this reporter, who was wearing matching goggles, which was unacceptable because he had bought that "one-of-a-kind" pair for Eid reporting.

The goggles came in different colours and styles, belonging to popular brands like Ray-bun, Pola, Guchi, Appel and Goggle.

Among all items, face-mask sellers were the winners in this pandemic. Customers were thronging mask stalls, which had a wide variety to offer. Shoppers had several materials to choose from -- velvet, georgette, silk, jamdani -- with embroidered patterns and tassels.

"Madam, these were specially imported from Thailand. You won't find these in any other pandemic," said a shopkeeper, trying to entice his potential buyer.

"These look local to me. I want a mask so beautiful it'll make the coronavirus beg to get inside me," the middle-aged woman retorted.

When asked how business is going, Nandu Zaman, a local shopkeeper, said, "After pivoting to selling PPE, business has been booming. It's as if people think Covid-22 cases are dwindling to zero instead of rising every day."

"Why are people buying so much when they can't go out on Eid?" asked this reporter.

"Hell, if I know," Nandu replied.

To find an answer, the reporter went from shop to shop, dodging spit particles and elbowing anyone who came close. Then he encountered someone who was rotating for five minutes at one point with her phone held up. She kept saying "Bhai, price?", "Price, brother?", "Mama, price?"

Sufia Zaman was, in fact, live broadcasting from her Facebook page "Cundar Cundar Jama Kulakshun" to provide her audience an authentic Eid shopping experience.

"There are 15 people watching right now. They'd be lost without my recommendation. Look, they're watching you now!" Sufia said, while pointing the camera at the reporter.

When asked about the significance of Eid shopping in this pandemic, she said, "Shopping is my passion. I shop and I shop, but I'm never satisfied. Online-shopping can never replace physically going to the store. I must caress the product, smell it, feel it, to be one with it."

"This virus will not separate our three-piece salwar kameez from our tailors," she remarked.

Comments

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