Traffic sergeants go on strike, threaten to leave it up to traffic lights

Traffic Sergeants Anonymous (TSA) have announced in a press release that they have had enough of the lawless traffic situation in Chapasthan and will now leave the situation up to traffic lights.

"We stand out in the rain, in the heat, in the Covid-22 and we sweat, freeze and suffer mental breakdowns, but does anyone listen to us?" asked the release, signed anonymously by long-suffering traffic sergeants, who formed the self-help body called TSA years back.

"Motorists, cyclists, rickshaw-pullers, pedestrians do not listen to us. Instead, 30 percent of us suffer hearing impairments because of the constant honking. When we wave them through after asking them to sit through three green lights, drivers of private cars curse at us, using unspeakable words and insulting our families. 70 percent of us with working ears have to endure such insults.

"So, from now on, we will stand by at our posts, and just let things be.

"The city fathers have put up traffic lights with fancy countdowns… let's see how traffic control can go on if we take a back seat. Let's see how you're going to keep motorcycles off the pavements," the press release, which reached unprecedented levels of indignation, concluded.

Asked, a random motorist said, "I regularly run through red lights. When traffic police stops me, I just say that I thought he waved me through like he often does when the light is red."

Traffic experts however said the TSA's move will not affect the traffic situation in Chapasthan one way or the other.