The government yesterday declared that not all citizens had the right to information, but they could get it by paying a modest amount.

The decision was made after a law had been passed earlier criminalising journalism.

"Journalism is dead. By pursuing click-bait and offensive stories -- many of which hurt our very, very religious sentiments in this secular state -- journalists have killed their profession themselves and turned rogue. You can no longer trust them with information," Disinformation Minister Abdul Kamal said at a press conference.

He expressed shock at how the plan of giving private corporations an information oligopoly had backfired. "While you cannot trust private corporations, you can surely trust the government. That is why we are now collating and analysing information and disseminating it among our people," he said.

For only Tk 300, anyone can now become a member of the government's information streaming site called "Proper Gander".

"All information will be given here in a simple and accessible manner. We are following the footsteps of the likes of The New York Times, Xinhua News Agency and Völkischer Beobachter," he said.

Meanwhile, last week's The Rojina Law was finally passed in parliament. According to the Rojina Law, no person shall seek to ask questions to important government officials. Furthermore, those found in possession of a pen, notepad or recorder will be punished by a maximum of five years in prison.

Commentators had called upon the government to revise the law given its vague wording. Legal expert Jakir Hossain told this NOT A NEWSPAPER that the law was too open for interpretation. "It says anyone carrying any paraphernalia through which government workers could be recorded in any form will be punished. While it says pen, notepad, etc., it could also mean just about anything else," Jakir said.

Contacted, the law minister lied like all other ministers and said, "These are remnants of British colonial laws."

When pointed out that British laws existed in the subcontinent to subjugate the natives and had no use for democratically-elected servants of the people, the law minister said, "lmao" and hung up.