Canada aspirants consider staying home as Instagram music reaches Bangladesh

Local kids planning to leave for Canada, after a failed attempt at BBA, are now considering staying back in Bangladesh as Instagram music comes to the country.

After years of postponement, IG music going local is reportedly going to fill up the gaps in Bangladeshi netizens' hearts, previously filled up with cholesterols owing to deep-fried junk food obsession. 

One of the darkest memories for any Bangladeshi IG influencer has to be the notorious notification: "Instagram Music is not available in your region." This includes local Instagram influencer Shadman Sakib with 86 followers. 

"My dying grandfather urged me to stay in Bangladesh. Despite the corruption, poverty, crime, poor financial infrastructure and thousands of other problems, he advised me to stay back and fix the problems rather than fleeing the warzone like a coward. He told me to get into the system, be the changemaker, and fix this country. Although, it was probably his way of telling me to sit for BCS, his last words always made me want to stay back and fulfil his dying wishes," Shadman said. 

"I don't care about either the corruption or the crime! But IG music not being available in this region is where I draw the line. Do I really want to be a part of the country where I can't make others listen to Prateek Kuhad on 27 different platforms while posting Columbus Cup Syrupinno stories?" he added.

IG music being available now changes everything for Shadman, "With IG music available, I'll probably stay back and do what the rest of my friends who are too broke to afford Canadian visa are doing – complete my BBA from Bidirectional University."

Read more

Engineering student finds passion in everything that isn’t engineering

Meanwhile, Bidirectional University (BDU) authorities are excited about the recent Instagram upgrade since it'll push a lot of gullible victims back to their financial trap cloaked in the form of higher education. 

"Our most successful scheme in this institution is to serve the students who are waiting for their Canadian visas and currently need a place to chill for a while," says Dr Jordan Jailfort, VC of BDU. "Our summertime package offers a 6-month stay in our premium campus for only 10 lakh taka and an extra 50 thousand discount for early check-in. We're aware that visas take time and students often feel left out in their friend circle. So, while the rest of your friends indulge themselves in real education, you can pretend to study BBA or other pseudo-major options you're comfortable with, while pursuing your real dream of leaving Bangladesh." 

Now with IG music available, Dr Jordan expects that these students will stay back and complete their four years of education so that BDU can make four times the money. 

However, economists fear that this new upgrade might cause remittance flow to decrease and cripple the economy. 

"Around 40 percent of BD expatriates left the country in the past owing to regional restrictions of IG music," says economist Dr Martha Sen. "Not only does it increase the remittance flow, but it also keeps the streets safe from Gulshan kids. If IG music is made available in Bangladesh, there will be more BBA undergrads than the streets can handle."

Remind Ifti to be quieter at hasiburrashidifti@gmail.com