Cricketer won’t say sorry after breaking world record for apologies

The most prolific money-making superstar of cricket, Becash All Hashi, has decided to no longer apologise to his fans after extending his own world record for most official apologies made by a professional athlete in any sport. 

The latest episode saw the premier all-rounder stirring the soup in which his country's cricket gladly swims by being affiliated with a betting agency. Becash -- who almost obtained a Masters degree in Ignorance and Excuse-Making -- used his entire academic prowess to try and come out unscathed but could not do so as the Board, Cricket Board (B,CB) punished him with the burden of captaining the national team.

Earlier, the premier all-rounder had played the ignorant card, saying he was not aware that he was getting involved with a betting agency, although its name contained the word "bet".

"I thought it meant the Bangla word 'bet' [wicker], as in the material used to make bet-er chairs," he once said, but later denied saying it, and said that if he did say it, he said it out of ignorance.

"I thought it meant the Bangla word 'bet' [wicker], as in the material used to make bet-er chairs," he once said, but later denied saying it, and said that if he did say it, he said it out of ignorance. 

Becash's ignorance hurt him once when he was banned for a year for talking with wicker men in secret. Or was it bookies? Anyway, following the ban is when Becash dropped out of the Institute of Ignorance and Technology (IIT) without completing his Masters.     

"Had he not dropped out of IIT, he'd surely have been better at giving excuses, at the very least. If I was him, I'd have said that I misheard the company's name as Breadwinner when I signed the deal," said Kamrul Hasan Phapa, the vice-chancellor of IIT, who is also the long-standing president of the B,CB.

Meanwhile, Becash took to Facebook to express his reaction after being named the T20 captain.

"Dear fans and cult followers, I won't be sorry for the latest episode to deal with betting site and I vow to no longer be sorry for any misconduct in the future. An experienced player like me should not have backed out [of the contract] this time but sometimes against all odds it happens unfortunately. I am not going to apologise to my loyal fans for this trivial human error. However, I promise to carry on being a champion of serial misconduct for those who still believe in me. Thanks!"

Fans of Becash remain divided after his unapologetic post. One camp is calling it "an uncouth, utterly disgusting act" while the other camp is delighted and proud of the fact that by breaking the same world record for the umpteenth time, "Desher Mun, Cricket Board Er Honeybun" has put their country's name on the global news radar again.

At the time of writing, the team gathered at the Merepoor Stadium for the official photo shoot for the World Cup but skipper Becash was absent. The B,CB officials acted all surprised when one of the reporters from The Daily Nebula pointed out that Becash was busy being the chief guest at IIT's freshers' orientation programme, according to his latest Instagram post.