"He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has arrived." – Chinese Proverb

Usually relationships fail because people take their own insecurities and try to twist them into their partner's faults. It is said that no single raindrop believes it is responsible for the flood. Whenever things go wrong, some people have a habit of blaming others.

Finding faults in others and not rectifying one's own actions is a sign of a personality disorder. People with some personality disorders are extremely resistant to changing their behaviour, even when it is causing them problems.

Blaming others could be a classic personality disorder feature with mild to extreme; and they may not truly feel they are responsible for their behaviour. They are often referred to as "chronic blamers." In reality, they blame others with their usual behaviours and their negative mindsets. They easily see themselves as victims, and they are extremely resistant to accepting that they may have contributed to making a situation problematic. The psychological term for blaming others is psychological projection, which is a defense mechanism that causes those with this condition to protect themselves by using others as scapegoats.

Blaming or complaining never makes anything better. No one is perfect, we need to realise the meaning of 'adjustment' - an alteration or movement made to achieve a desired result.

E-mail: rubaiulmurshed@shomman.org