So long, goodbye

Pitch black darkness engulfed me as I kept my eyes shut. A slight summer breeze drifted across my face.

Is this what it feels like?

"No," replied another voice in my head. I took one long breath before opening my eyes again. The Dhaka skyline looked beautiful for once. The smell of korma wafted into my nose. Things felt pristine. As I unwrapped my arms around the grills, leaning forward, ready to be engulfed by the city, a hand grabbed my t-shirt. With seemingly just one arm, they pulled me back over the railings.

"No, it isn't the brightest idea you've had," answered the other voice in my head, only this time she was dressed fully in black, and had two of the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Almost as if they held the universe within them.

"Who are you?"

"I have a lot of names, depending on where we are. But if you want, you can call me Doitto," she replied.

"Why did you stop me?"

"Just wanted to have a conversation."

I could feel my face getting flushed. My eyebrows knitted together as I looked back at her.

"And then what? Were you going to lecture me? Tell me about how I have it so much better than other people? That I shouldn't be 'melodramatic'? Maybe I should suck it up and move on?"

She raised one eyebrow. Put her fist under her chin and leaned back on the railing.

"Better than other people," she repeated to herself before looking up at me. Listen here. I don't deal in comparatives, only in absolutes. I'm not here to convince you of anything or to berate you. The one thing I want to offer you is perspective."

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Afternoons at the Bijoy Sarani signal

She gently pushed my chest until I was sitting on the metal pipes.

"I know you've thought this over. In no way am I saying that the grief you feel isn't valid. The things we feel should always be valid to us. But the fact that you feel this sorrow, is only because there was a point where you experienced joy. One cannot exist without the other. And if you stopped being here, surely someone else would feel grief. So, by proxy, doesn't that mean you are responsible for someone's joy?"

Tears covered the ground around my feet. I looked up, unable to contain the waves. 

"But why is it so much and when does it stop?"

"It doesn't. You'll never always be happy. But you will find moments of joy that will make it all worth it. What I can truly guarantee you is that irrespective of who you worship, we will meet when your story ends."

Doitto got up to her feet. She put her hand under my chin and wiped away my tears with the other, before helping me back up. Her eyes glanced at the spot where I was just a short while ago, before she looked back at me.

I tried to get back to where I was before she stopped me, but my feet felt heavier or maybe it was my heart. I asked her one final question.

"Does it get better?"

"It does. It also gets worse and then better again. But I think with the right people in it, life can be pretty fun at times," she answered. I could feel her eyes scanning me, almost as if she was piecing something together.

"I don't know when we will meet again but I hope it isn't anytime soon."

As I turned around to reply, she was gone.