'We want you to die. We won’t have to kill you then.'
On December 4, 2017, around 6:45pm, I left my home and took my car to go to the airport to receive my younger daughter. As I started driving, I saw two motorcycles following me. I was aware that I was being monitored for the past year. I used to write a lot in the international media about the unequal agreements signed between India and Bangladesh, about the failures of the government and the injustices done by them.
I also wrote against enforced disappearances and extrajudicial killings but never did I imagine that I would be a victim one day.
For all latest news, follow The Daily Star's Google News channel. From the time and turns the microbus took to reach my place of confinement, I could guess that I was taken to some place in the cantonment. First, they took me to a torture cell, beat me up severely, and hurled abuses at me. I told them to stop but they didn't. Then someone asked me, "Are you Maroof Zaman?" I replied, "Yes." He then asked, "Are you 'Banglar Bir'"? I said, "Yes, that's the name I use in the websites." They then beat me up again and took me to another small room.
I was kept there for four and a half months. Every three to four days, they used to come and torture me. They used to bring printouts of my writings and abuse me for what I wrote. They even called me a traitor. I protested by saying, "No, I am not a traitor. I wrote nothing against the state, I wrote to protect the interests of the country, I wrote against the injustices done by the government."
There were different levels of torture, namely grade one, grade two, and grade three. I was subjected to grade two level torture. Grade three torture means severe physical torture. While some young people may survive it, it is difficult for someone my age to survive such tortures. They told me that since I would not survive third-degree torture, they would instead give me injections, which would have severe impacts. They also used a high-powered light bulb and harsh noises to prevent me from sleeping.
On January 29, 2018, I heard a bullet shot and then someone was brought to my next room. Later, I heard someone saying: "He is no more". Another person was tortured through waterboarding. I didn't know what happened to him later.
Sometimes, I heard people saying, "Guard Shabdhan." This is a phrase used in the army by the guards to salute an officer. One day, I asked them to change my water bottles, as they were extremely dirty. A young man came with two water bottles, with the word "Shena" written on them. Also, on the first day of my abduction, when they handcuffed me, I could see that it was made of stainless steel, which is used by the security forces. I became certain that I was confined within the cantonment.
They hit me so much on my face that my teeth were broken. There was puss and blood coming out from my swollen gums. I asked them to take me to a doctor and get an X-ray done, but they rejected my appeal. I still have no sense in my gums and the nerves in one of my arms are severely damaged from the excessive beatings. I told them, "I will die if you don't give me treatment." They replied, "Die, we want you to die. We won't have to kill you then. You will die from your illness."
M Maroof Zaman is a former Bangladesh ambassador to Vietnam.
This is an abridged excerpt from an interview taken for The Daily Star.
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