They say technology can be a double-edged sword, but sometimes that harmful, pathetic edge can be too much to bear. Case in point: chatting apps like Messenger and WhatsApp! They are great, helping us stay connected despite physical distance. But, chat groups from work can also give you headaches, owing to the clowns that reside therein.
How many have you encountered?
The Pioneer
Behold the pioneers! They have taken it upon themselves to open as many groups as they possibly can, and add as many members as their hearts desire. It is like a social service they provide, except that no one asked for it.
Open your WhatsApp/Messenger/Viber right now. How many groups are you in? Then ask, how many did you actually want to be in?
But a pioneer does not care what you want. Be it the office picnic on a Friday you are desperately trying to avoid, or that simple task which requires just a few phone calls and emails — the pioneers will enthusiastically open a group for every occasion and add you, making your life miserable.
The mime artist
These are the bubbly buffoons in your office chats. No matter what you ask them, no matter how deadly an upcoming deadline is, it doesn't matter, because they will always hold their part in conversations through GIFs.
Is the presentation ready? Why are you being so late to work? Can we skip the meeting today? Whatever you ask them, they will only answer with GIFs.
The podcaster
While the former do not use any words but only expressions, the podcasters on the other hand try to entertain us with their long and winding voice notes.
There is always a member in the virtual office group who has decided that using fingers for messaging purposes is too much work. With no regard that some of us could be stuck on a noisy road without headphones — or that we could be in a meeting — the podcaster sends urgent, lengthy, audio messages in place of texts.
The alien
You can never understand what they are trying to communicate. You squint at their texts and decide that the language they are speaking cannot be of this planet and that it would take a NASA scientist to crack their messages.
Aliens are of two subspecies: those who make so many typos that their messages do not make any sense, and those who take modern texting lingo and abbreviations so seriously, that their messages fly above most of our heads.
To them, I say: We are all fine with the good old LOL or even the occasional LMK, but others, such as ICYMI and AFAIK, may seem like codes sent from out of this world. BTW, do you know what ICYMI or AFAIK mean?
The ghost
We are talking about that one mysterious member in the office group who does not say anything or reply to anyone. You are quite sure that this entity is real, but you still have some doubts about their existence.
If it were not for a like-react on a message that they put once in a blue moon (only to again disappear for weeks), or an unexpected reply many days after an issue has already been resolved, you would never have believed that they are indeed present or alive.
But to summon them at will? Unless you are a spiritualist, that won't be possible.
The boss
Last but not least — in fact, the very important and very annoying — is the boss!
Oftentimes the most active member in the group, s/he usually has no regard for work hours. Day or night, weekdays or weekends, your phone will buzz up all the time for this person.
It's all work and no play. When co-workers are casually chatting and the boss enters the conversation, it is understood that the fun will soon be over. The boss makes those conference calls or group calls and is always worried about something or other.
From the hyperactive to the silent, a virtual office group brings some annoying but at the same time interesting characters. You can easily identify which colleagues fall into which categories. But, more importantly, which one are you?
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