Ever since we were children, we were taught countless things. Learn this, learn that — we were told. And through this, we were indoctrinated to the norms of not only society, but also the local culture. But not all norms, values and practices are good ones. Some of them are outdated, rude, and terrible enough to abandon. This is where unlearning becomes relevant.

What is unlearning?

Unlearning refers to the concept of abandoning certain norms and practices. Or more comprehensively, making an effort to forget one's usual way of doing something so that they may learn a new and hopefully, better way. While unlearning can refer to letting go of practically anything, in this context, unlearning refers to forsaking dreadful habits.

What should you be unlearning?

If the concept of unlearning is still vague to you, an example will surely help.

Asking someone their salary is a common practice in our society. It's even more severe in the villages, and older generations take this as a normalised practice, when in reality, it's a very rude thing to do. Stop the habit of asking someone how much they earn.

Another example is asking a couple when they are going to have a baby, or even more terrible — "Why can't you have a baby?" The question is as rude as it gets and the fact that such unsolicited and overly interested questions are still normal in our society is a matter of concern.

Why someone is not having a baby is their person matter, and should be of no concern to anyone else. In addition, they could be having some medical or other sort of issues that you are not aware of. Asking them this sort of question is awkward, rude, and dare I say — insulting. This is where we have to unlearn being overly interested in other people's private affairs.

Learning to unlearn

Learning to unlearn can be challenging. For one thing, because it's a practice that goes against your already held beliefs and practices. Accepting something that is new and does not align with your already accepted point of view is more difficult than most people realise. And while many say that they are ready to do so, you only realise how difficult it is while trying to do it first-hand.

For example, laughing at someone who has lost their balance and fell down on the ground is often considered harmless, but what you really should be doing is rushing to that person to check for injury. Humour should come much later. Unlearning this tendency of laughing at such situations is more difficult to master than one can imagine.

Similarly, there are many such behaviours that are terrible practices. These include, but are not limited to, imposing one's own opinion on others, not letting others speak, not valuing other people's privacy, throwing around unsolicited advice, hostility towards anyone who has different views than one's own; the list goes on.

Learning to accept that those are not 'good things' just because you have been doing it for all these years is a hard pill to swallow. But that's the whole point of this discussion. Learn to accept that what you know and do is not always right. Accept that you are a human being just like others and you too are prone to mistakes and questionable behaviour. Only then can you start working on your own self towards being a better person.

Learning to unlearn is a huge step forward in that context. Let's unlearn all our vices and rebuild virtues, from the very scratch.