Satire
Humour

HOW TO KACHA BAZAAR

For most of us, the thought of shopping for groceries is limited to department stores. But before that, kacha bazaars were the go-to place for groceries because that's where you get the freshest produce at the cheapest price, if you know how to haggle that is. And that is what this article is about.  

Let's face it, kacha bazaars aren't clean. It's probably the worst place to buy stuff that you are going to eat but if the produce is good, it doesn't really matter how messy the place is. If you think you'll be grossed out by the smell contributed by fish, meat, shutki and a variety of unknown things, toughen up because there's no getting around that. Sadly, this is how food smells before it gets cooked and eaten: repulsive.

When buying fish, you want something fresh out of water. Fish that have been taken out a long time ago start to rot, and if they aren't rotting it means they've been drenched in all sorts of illegal preservatives. The way to tell if a fish is fresh out of water is by touching it. Touch a fish on its mid-section and if there's resistance, the fish is good. Rotten fish start going soft around the belly. Next, look into its eyes. Check if there's a gleam. If they're not gleaming, the fish is no good. The mucus that covers a fish dries out when taken out of water and the eyes dry out last. If there's still mucus in there, that's a sign that the fish was only recently taken out of water.

At a kacha bazaar, you get to pick the chicken you want. They will chop it up in front of you, so you know everything's okay. Seems simple enough, but the shopkeepers will always try to get the better of you. Once you pick out the bird, watch closely as they process it, because somewhere along the way they will try to trick you and give you something you didn't choose – a diseased or smaller bird.

If you are buying vegetables, once again, you have to make sure it's nice and fresh and not old or rotten. 
You need to be able to bargain to get a good deal if you want to shop at a kacha bazaar. Any sign of weakness and you'll be robbed. If the initial asking price seems cheap, you need to ask for a price 75 percent of that. If the price seems okay, go 60 percent. If you find it expensive, go even lower to 50 percent. If it feels like murder, forget dignity and ask for 25 percent and start walking away. In most cases you'll be called back and given a price fair to both parties. Although in truth, you'll be robbed anyway. But at least you'll walk away satisfied.

There are some simple rules to follow when shopping at a kacha bazaar. Do your grocery shopping as early as possible, in the morning, when the freshest produce is still available. Wear disposable clothing because you don't want mud, or worse, on an expensive pair of pants. And lastly, prepare your nostrils because your sense of smell will be in for a very bumpy ride.

Comments

Humour

HOW TO KACHA BAZAAR

For most of us, the thought of shopping for groceries is limited to department stores. But before that, kacha bazaars were the go-to place for groceries because that's where you get the freshest produce at the cheapest price, if you know how to haggle that is. And that is what this article is about.  

Let's face it, kacha bazaars aren't clean. It's probably the worst place to buy stuff that you are going to eat but if the produce is good, it doesn't really matter how messy the place is. If you think you'll be grossed out by the smell contributed by fish, meat, shutki and a variety of unknown things, toughen up because there's no getting around that. Sadly, this is how food smells before it gets cooked and eaten: repulsive.

When buying fish, you want something fresh out of water. Fish that have been taken out a long time ago start to rot, and if they aren't rotting it means they've been drenched in all sorts of illegal preservatives. The way to tell if a fish is fresh out of water is by touching it. Touch a fish on its mid-section and if there's resistance, the fish is good. Rotten fish start going soft around the belly. Next, look into its eyes. Check if there's a gleam. If they're not gleaming, the fish is no good. The mucus that covers a fish dries out when taken out of water and the eyes dry out last. If there's still mucus in there, that's a sign that the fish was only recently taken out of water.

At a kacha bazaar, you get to pick the chicken you want. They will chop it up in front of you, so you know everything's okay. Seems simple enough, but the shopkeepers will always try to get the better of you. Once you pick out the bird, watch closely as they process it, because somewhere along the way they will try to trick you and give you something you didn't choose – a diseased or smaller bird.

If you are buying vegetables, once again, you have to make sure it's nice and fresh and not old or rotten. 
You need to be able to bargain to get a good deal if you want to shop at a kacha bazaar. Any sign of weakness and you'll be robbed. If the initial asking price seems cheap, you need to ask for a price 75 percent of that. If the price seems okay, go 60 percent. If you find it expensive, go even lower to 50 percent. If it feels like murder, forget dignity and ask for 25 percent and start walking away. In most cases you'll be called back and given a price fair to both parties. Although in truth, you'll be robbed anyway. But at least you'll walk away satisfied.

There are some simple rules to follow when shopping at a kacha bazaar. Do your grocery shopping as early as possible, in the morning, when the freshest produce is still available. Wear disposable clothing because you don't want mud, or worse, on an expensive pair of pants. And lastly, prepare your nostrils because your sense of smell will be in for a very bumpy ride.

Comments