No love lost

February is like a traffic light – signalling us to slow down and stop. It starts with the green of picnics, then the orange of Pohela Falgun (this year the TSC area somehow looked like Donald Trump) and finally the red of Valentine's. And you bet your Ascot that I celebrate Valentine's – on February 15 when everything is back to being priced within the sanity range. I do have to admit that every year around this time, I seriously contemplate getting into the floral business.

The days of love letters are gone, but some are scrambling to get to a semblance of penmanship or at least legibility – doctors, mandated by the judiciary branch. The judiciary branch of another country shoots down a travel ban. Mr Trump gets a rude awakening that the powers of the POTUS come with not JUST a cheque, but also with a balance.

"See you in court!" says Trump to the indomitable judges. Uhm! I thought these judges ARE in court all day anyway. It's like a golfer like me whose handicap is his handicap, threatening Siddikur Rahman to a duel on the Kurmitola golf course. Maybe these judges can entertain a Bangladeshi lawsuit against the unsueable World Bank…

Trump is no man to bow out without a fight. In fact we're seeing a presidential version of his punching down the commentator at the WWF wrestling match. He fights on, with just about everything in sight – the Mexican President, the Australian PM (of all the people) and then Nordstrom, which probably still carries MIB products. That's not Men in Black, but Made in Bangladesh. But I thought Mr Trump is a businessman who understands numbers and that the Ivanka line was plain not selling at Nordstrom. I guess, there are many things associated with the name 'Trump' which are finding themselves hard to sell…

Speaking of Ivanka, she creates a storm by sitting in the Presidential seat of the Oval Office with President Donald Trump and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau standing on both sides (even she giggles while being next to the hunky Trudeau). Well, that's some 'take your daughter to work day' as the criticisms pour in. Aha! Maybe that's the true picture of who's running the show at the White House.

But Ivanka, I'm completely fine with you sitting in the President's seat at the Oval Office with Donald Trump standing next to you. I once had my two-year-old daughter sit on the comedian's stool on stage while I stood next to her and performed stand-up comedy (at a non-alcohol venue) in California. After all, Donald Trump and I are both in the same business – comedy…           

Quite the opposite of Valentine's, eh? No love lost. The US Secretary of Education is confirmed with the vote of Mike Pence to break a tie, thus setting a new passing grade for the US education system. Wonder if she has anything to do with the ever oscillating issue of VAT on English medium schools in Bangladesh.

There is also no love lost between Trump and the intelligence community. Trump tweets: "The real scandal here is that classified information is illegally given out by 'intelligence' like candy. Very un-American!" True, as it is very un-Bangladeshi to leak out SSC questions like jhaal muri.

No love lost with Michael Flynn as the shortest serving National Security Advisor's successor could be retired General and former CIA Director David Petraeus. A great choice – 37 years of highly decorated military career and two years in probation for sharing classified information with his secret lover while the Director of CIA.

No love lost with the 'fake news' folks as Trump tweets: "…@MSNBC & @CNN are unwatchable. @foxandfriends is great!"

What falls below the love radar is that France's Peugeot buys India's iconic Ambassador for just 12 million dollars (Make France Great Again with the voluptuous Ambassador) and that a Hitler double is seen (and later arrested) around his birth place in Austria (are we sure he doesn't look orange and have blonde hair?). But what does NOT fall below the radar is my biggest fear of Donald Trump being impeached and his then losing his presidency which in turn will put us comedians out of business. Mike Pence will be as scary but not as funny.

The writer is an engineer at Ford & Qualcomm USA and CEO of IBM & Nokia Siemens Networks Bangladesh turned comedian (by choice), the host of ATN Bangla's The Naveed Mahbub Show and ABC Radio's Good Morning Bangladesh, the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club. E-mail: naveed@naveedmahbub.com