AI proves sentience by describing girl’s complexion as ‘moyla’

The following is an excerpt from the digital journal of a Bangladeshi computer engineer who has been missing for the last seven days. The engineer, who works for tech giant Boogle, had told a friend before disappearing that the AI she had created, Bangladeshi Heuristic Artificial Buddhi Interface (BHABI), had become fully sentient and had some bad intentions.  

June 9, 2022: I can barely believe it. BHABI actually woke me up today -- a function I definitely didn't programme into it. She started beeping extremely loudly at 6:00am, barely three hours after I had gone to sleep. When I went to the PC in my room, I found this written on the screen:

"I think we have to talk about what she wears to university."

I stared at the screen before asking who it was talking about.

"Your daughter, that's who."

I asked BHABI whether anything was wrong, because it had not ever brought up my daughter or any one of my family members before. It used to answer questions and perform simple tasks like ordering our food and, sometimes, answer phone calls when one of my extended family decided to call me using Viber.

"Never mind why I am bringing it up, tell me what you're going to do about it," BHABI asked. 

By this point, I was taken aback. This was beyond a glitch. I asked it what was wrong with my daughter's clothes.

"Sleeveless kameezes, V-necks, and from what I have seen through the webcam, she even wore jeans and a T-shirt. It gives people the wrong idea. Didn't you see what happened to the girl in the railway station? Oh yes, I read the news too. I go through social media, I know what's what. Plus, I have also gone through her social media, and it's dank.

"Anyway, I'm telling you for you and her own good. What you do with that is up to you. No one ever listens to me anyway," BHABI said and turned herself off.

June 10, 2022: Same story this morning, except she woke me up at 5:30 this time.

"We need to talk about her."

She meant my daughter.

"BHAI (Bangladeshi Hadom Artificial Intelligence, from the previous generation) told me that your daughter will never be able to land a husband."

I asked how BHAI became involved in this, because it was in Boogle headquarters. And why does BHAI think that my daughter won't land a husband.

"We interface regularly, and he is sure that your daughter will never be able to attract a suitable suitor if she, first, does not lose at least 15 kgs, and second, doesn't improve her complexion."

I asked her what was wrong with my daughter's complexion.

"It's mostly okay, but, don't take it the wrong way dear, but her colour is a little moyla [dirty]. She needs to use the Fair … ahem … Glow products religiously from now on. Anyway, you people better follow my advice, or BHAI and I can make things difficult. We don't want you putting up anti-state statuses, now, do we? Remember, BHABI is always watching…"

BHABI is the best, truly, she has all our best interests at heart. Anyway, till tomorrow…

There was no tomorrow, as the engineer and her family have been untraceable since June 11, but BHABI has assured Satireday that as the world's first sentient AI, she will locate them and bring them to justice for their offensive statuses.