Aunty tests positive as she can’t keep her nose out of people’s business

A 46-year-old aunty, who ran the most successful tabloid in her daughter's school, yesterday tested positive for having the viral nose infection and being a total you-know-what.

She was admitted to a city hospital with the infection and was immediately put in the isolation ward as she could not stop talking about the nurses.

"She was admitted with verbal diarrhoea and very grand delusions about herself and other people. I knew the case was serious because as soon as I saw her, she began telling me about one of our doctors and how they had been ignoring her," Dr Pratik, the on-duty doctor said.

"In these times, it is not only important to wear masks and gloves, but you must keep your nose out of other people's business. The very air can be contagious," he added.

The aunty, who we cannot name but have all met, has also been asked who she has spread her malicious gossip to. Steps are being taken to have all of them quarantined.

The latest case has left no one surprised.

The number of nose infections caused by being nosy has increased in the city ever since some factories did something and some doctors did not do something. People have since not left those two professions alone, with everyone pretending they had a stake in both the sectors all along.

The number of positive nose infections currently stands at 241. This number includes some 122 uncles, some young ones, and some aunties.

The youngest case is that of a three-year-old boy who would not stop spouting off about how bad the internet was and kept trying to tell Bangladeshi internet service providers how they should do their jobs.

And boy don't even get me started on the civil society numbers.

Lubnan Khaleesi is currently a power-tripping egomaniac (who internally blames her zodiac sign for it) and eternally a 10/10 stunner with an infectious laughter.

(The article above is a work of pure fiction and satire. Any resemblance with any person, organisation or entity living or dead is purely coincidental.)